Hey, You’ve Got Our Expos. What More Do You Want?

I hope you didn’t shave today. It’s playoff time. If you did, what were you thinking?

The goalies are set – Halak and Theodore – and the hockey world waits for the Washington slaughter of the Habs to begin. It’s not going to be the least bit fair, no it’s not. The Caps are too big, too slick, too many points in the regular season. Barack Obama cheers for them. They’re perfect. They’re not human. What a team.

Why don’t they just give the Stanley Cup to the Washington Capitals and be done with it?

But the Montreal Canadiens and fans have other plans. Like winning the series, for instance. It’s just going to take some firsts.

They need to win the first faceoff of the game and get the puck into the Caps end and start the momentum. They need the first big hit and the first goal. They need to win the first period, the first fight, and all the races to the puck in corners. And a win in the first game would be lovely although a win in game two would be almost as good. Maybe as good.

They also need to send a 90 mile-an-hour puck into Alex Ovechkin’s teeth.

And about the fights? Be careful with Alexander Semin. He plays the bongos.

Habs can win.  Montreal has the aura, the CH, and the best-looking women in North America. Washington enjoys our Expos and had George Bush living there. 

And yes, I know what you’re saying. The game is played on the ice so forget about the women and George Bush. But the Canadiens are not the worst team in the history of the world, and the Capitals are not the best. It’s closer than what many think. The Habs have good scorers who haven’t scored lately. That’s the biggest problem. If the scorers can get it together, things become much different.

And about Alex Ovechkin. One man has never made a hockey team. Please refer to the 2010 Russian Olympic hockey team.

Detroit didn’t win every year because they had Gordie Howe. Or Boston with Orr, Hull with Chicago, Gretzky in LA, Newman with the Charlestown Chiefs. A lot is made about Ovechkin, but it’s a team sport. He’s a guy who has to be watched carefully, checked hard, trash-talked to, get him off his game. Toe Blake told Claude Provost to shadow Bobby Hull, so whenever Hull jumped on the ice, so did Provost. If Hull was out of the play, Provost stayed with him. When Hull went back to the bench, Provost escorted him. If he would’ve been allowed, Provost probably would have followed him down the hall when the period ended.

Just don’t let Ovechkin get wound up, and fire a few 90 mile an hour pucks near his gap-toothed grin.

If Montreal can gain even a split in Washington, everything changes. The Habs will have new-found confidence, the Caps will see some of their’s disappear, and TV analysts will begin to sing a different tune. The odds in Vegas will change slightly, and Habs fans will believe even more.

It’s game day. I’m ready. Gaston’s going to watch it with me. Dishonest John will have his lucky shirt, I’m sure. Danno will have the Victory shirt ready to go. And I didn’t shave today.

I’m ready, you’re ready. We’re all ready. GO HABS!

For those of you who haven't been introduced, this is Gaston. We go back a long way. He'll be watching the game tonight.

6 thoughts on “Hey, You’ve Got Our Expos. What More Do You Want?”

  1. Hey Dennis, good pre-game article!

    No shave – check

    Victory shirt – check

    Silent prayer to the hockey gods – check


    We’re good to go.

    Hockey world, brace yourself for a stunning upset… Yes we can!

    (Gaston looks a lot like Hal Gill.)

    Go Habs Go!

  2. Dennis/Gaston/fellow Hab Fanatics,

    May the force be with the Habs & with Bergeron taking a regular shift on D.
    I’m hoping Halak is the updated version of an 86 & 93 Roy.

    To paraphrase Jean Beliveau, “You always have a chance to win the Stanley Cup when you play for the Montreal Canadiens”.

    Good times indeed.

  3. Dennis,

    It was never in doubt.

    The Victory Shirt made the difference.

    That, and Gaston.

    Only 15 more wins to go…


  4. Gaston, you are looking handsome as ever. Dennis, I’m sure you included me in the good looking Canadian women comment. Okay, so I live in Boston–but I cheer for the CH!!!!!!

  5. Diane, I was hoping you’d see Gaston. I know you and him grew very close. And yes, you’re in the beautiful women category. Shame on you for even wondering.

  6. Ah, Dennis, some men say women have that “glow of love” when they start to cheer for Montreal! Nancy’s had it for years. Nice to be on board!

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