We Made It Because We Were Thirsty

Hobo’s comment in the comments section of  Wouldn’t a Beer Go Good Here about moonshine we made has brought back a flood of memories. And it makes me wonder why about a dozen of us aren’t dead now. Or brain dead.

It was in Powell River in 1970 in a smelly old shack we called home, and many days and nights were spent creating a mash and then cooking it in an old pressure cooker. There would be no hillbillies from the Ozark backhills who would make a finer moonshine than what we were making. Because I don’t know what they put in their’s, but in ours we had cigarette butts, pot, beer, bread, banana peels, apples, and maybe a few household appliances too.

We made enough moonshine to fill a large crock, and you could hear it making noises if you put your ear to it. And it smelled as bad as it tasted. But what parties! Powell Riverites wanted to get to know the Orillians because we had the best parties and the strongest moonshine.

It almost makes me weep with pride.

A couple of months after that I came down with mononucleosis and the doctor said I probably got it from living in filthy conditions. Eventually I made my way back to Orillia.

Below, in this grainy old photo, some of the Orillia boys pose in front of the dump we called home in Powell River. That’s Hobo in the front with the jean jacket and long red hair. I’m not in this photo for some reason. Maybe I was busy stirring the moonshine mash.

14 thoughts on “We Made It Because We Were Thirsty”

  1. i think you were taking the pic. it’ grainy because you just had a shot of hobo stump blower with a kanes freakin’ stong beer chaser.

  2. There’s a fine looking bunch of young gentlemen! You all look like something off of a Jimi Hendrix album cover!

  3. Thanks, Danno. That’s funny. I’m going to tell them this (Hendrix album cover) as I speak to the odd one from time to time.

  4. Some of the top premium liquors are quite disgusting. The biggest difference between them and your moonshine is in the marketing.

  5. Thank you, Christopher. We were quite proud of it at the time. Maybe we’ll sell it at the Bell Centre when I’m owner!

  6. Dennis, you can market this fine product to the thrillseekers. How about a signature line for your product: Blindness or bust!

    You always make me laugh with some antic. Keep up the good work. Can’t wait to work with your team at the Bell Centre.

  7. Diane, “Blindness or Bust.” This is brilliant. But can I get it exported to Boston and beyond? And would you drink it?

  8. I’ll help with marketing in Boston. All the hospitals here and the recession, they will be grateful for the referrals. I drink beer mostly, so put me down for the Kane XXX strong beer. I think you may need to make a batch of margueritas for the summer crowd, too.

  9. As we say in advertising “Just rubbing this one with donkey soap to see it the dirt comes off” but I would go with a campaign for a product called Kane’s “Stick Boy Special”

    A jingle along the lines of:

    You don’t need a blind side,
    Or a “head to boards” collision,
    Just grab yourself a “Stick Boy”,
    For a dose of double vision.

    A little polishing here and there and it’ll fly.

    Just got to story board the ads now.

    (And before anyone says anything, only the completely morally debased could read anything untoward in to the exhortation to “grab a stick boy”. You should feel only shame.)

  10. Oh and while I’m here, let me say that when you take over, I’ll be more than happy to handle the European end of the Habs marketing drive.

    I feel it could do with a freshen up and as you can see I would bring a singular vision to the whole thing.

    Unless I was drinking Kane’s “Stick Boy” Special of course!

  11. Dennis, I make a mean strawberry daiquiri using real strawberries…
    Those could be enjoyed by you the new owner, along with your hand-picked front office team and of course the players’ wives in those fancy VIP luxury suites at the Bell Centre.
    They will affect your eyesight though. After a few. The girls start to look a lot more beautifuller.

  12. Blue Bayou, I’m liking the idea of the European end of things, but shouldn’t you be in Stockholm or Moscow instead, where more hockey is? We’re leaning toward the hockey fan who likes to get so drunk he almost goes blind. Can you do it being London-based?

  13. Ble Bayou, the jingle’s really good but can it be done with a Sex Pistols kind of beat? Just wondering.

  14. Dennis, some crazy guys in Scotland have created the world’s strongest beer at 50 per cent.
    It’s by a company called Brew Dog.
    And judging by the promo video below, they have sampled their product, maybe a bit too much…
    It goes for $1,000 a pint and if you’re thinking of trying it you’re too late.
    They’ve sold out.

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