Wanted – Just About Everybody

Has been spotted behind the Montreal Canadiens’ bench but no one is sure if he is alive or dead, even when he’s standing there.

Considered dangerous to the legions of Habs fans around the world. Is wanted for not providing leadership, not naming a captain, for putting players on the ice in the last few minutes of a game who aren’t able to hold a lead, for not smiling, for being incredibly boring, and for having an ordinary haircut.

A repeat offender, Martin will probably attempt to cause harm to the visiting Toronto Maple Leafs. Leaf players and fans are apparently not overly concerned about the threat.

The following is the offender’s playoff rap sheet against the Toronto Maple Leafs, the team the Habs need to assault on Saturday.

1986-87 with St. Louis. Lost to Toronto 4 games to 2.
1999-2000 with Ottawa. Lost to Toronto 4 games to 2.
2000-2001 with Ottawa. Lost to Toronto 4 games to none.
2001-2002 with Ottawa. Lost to Toronto 4 games to 3.
2003-04 with Ottawa. Lost to Toronto 4 games to 3.

ALSO WANTED – Team in blue, white, and red.


Offenders are considered unarmed and extremely not dangerous.

Don’t worry about approaching with caution.

Known to hang out in their own red-light district.

19 thoughts on “Wanted – Just About Everybody”

  1. I have to admit that I wasn’t thrilled when Martin was named as coach but I thought BG probably knows more than I do so… Well, it looks a lot like a dog’s breakfast. You know the one the dog throws up and then eats again? The $ owed to Carbo and the 3 years remaining on Martin’s contract will probably come into play as will Martin’s relationship with Gauthier but would it really be too early to promote Boucher? I can not look at next year and think that Martin will do much better. This is BG’s biggest mistake not the players he let go or the ones he brought in. And for what it’s worth I’m putting on TLS again. I may even put my McFarlane’s M Richard, Beliveau, P Mahovlich, Lafleur and Shutt on top of the TV for good measure!

  2. Right on, DJ. Get the shirt and the figurines. I believe in the shirt. But if we don’t see them come out and play hard, it’s gotta be the coach. Martin has not motivated this team.

  3. is kirk muller qualified to be a head coach? i know he is not french but, bowman, blake, irvin?? of course they had the richards and lafleurs but i think quebecers would rather have a good coach than french being a priority. my points is the search needs to be broader………. some guys just remain assistants most of their careers……… i’m sure between us we can find a more than suitable candidate.

  4. TSN guys were saying recently that Muller has come a long way as bench-boss, the players respect him, and he almost certainly will be a head coach in the future. Hey, I’d take Muller. But it’s all about contracts and budgets and such. But brass can’t be happy with Martin’s performance this year.

  5. I pray they getbrid of Martin in the off-season and I pray the off-season doesn’t start saturday night. When he was hired I read that he was very good with the young players and I figured great!!! Perfect interm coach for the young players like the Kosy brothers, Obbie, and all the young prospects. Truth be told I think he has screwed with their heads and as a result their confidence. Make a mistake and your benched. This was a good year to try Sergie as much as possible and see what he can do going forward yet Thursday what happened. Obbie, Sergie, Pouliot on the bench.If it was a couple of games overall I could see a let down here and there but this is consistently the norm and then we here that the player’s didn’t follow the game plan. Thanks for giving me a place to rant. Saves what is left of my sanity.

  6. Way to go, Don. Good rant. I also think he could have used Carey Price more in the second half, and if there’s a good reason why there’s no captain, I’d like to hear it. If a captain doesn’t work out, he can relinquish it and somebody else can try. Why not at least have given it a shot. And them blowing late-game leads is unacceptable. And what else is unacceptable? Them playing listless and uninspired in the last ten games. I think it’s the coach and lack of motivation.

  7. Bang on with those thoughts. How would you judge who to keep after a year of Martin as a coach. How many of the players if used properly in the confines of a system that actually worked and made sense would have had better years. It makes it incredibly difficult for a GM to look at which players he has available to trade when you really haven’t seen them used to their potential. It leaves things wide open for more mistakes to be made in an organization that has made many in the last handfull of years.

  8. Hey Dennis, Great comments guys ,really but like I said when thenatioal team was piced and folks wernt happy wth some choices,lets stand behind them untl the end.I’m not a big fan of some of the coaching choices the Habs of had over the years,but lets get behind the guys and give them our best the rest of the way.I would like to send best wishes to Pat Burns ,who is battling lung cancer at the moment,bon chance Pat.

  9. I don’t know. Maybe that meeting the team had on Friday was about finally naming a captain. The meeting lasted 45 minutes and Martin was sketchy about what was discussed….

    Could it be a new captain will be revealed for all to see Saturday night before a standing room only crowd at the Bell Centre for the biggest game of the year?

    Could it be Brian Gionta?

    It would be motivational. And the timing would be perfect.

  10. And another thing. I see a pattern on Martin’s rap sheet. You have to look very closely but trust me, there is a pattern. Look carefully and you may see it yourselves.

    Not very reassuring.

    And Rangers beat Philly 4-3 in regulation.

    The news is frightening: The noose is tightening.

  11. Here are my crazy reasons why no captain has been named. All reports say Markov didn’t want it so the team needed to see who had the best leadership capabilities during the season. It’s a choice that shouldn’t be made hastily as the right choice can transform an average team into a champion. And taking away a captaincy if not unanimously agreed can disrupt the team and impair the new captain’s performance.
    Although I approve of the slow cautious approach, I think the hunt has been poorly managed. If Markov doesn’t want to be captain, why make him assistant in the meantime? After a captain is chosen, he makes a good assistant again. Similarly why is Gill an assistant as he’ll never be captain, hell he’ll be hard pressed to make the team next year. On the other hand, he might have been an ideal interim captain until he is let go for being too slow.
    So what about the others? Gionta, definitely a good candidate. Gomez isn’t being paid 8M for his scoring, so he better have some leadership capabilities. Cammalleri was my pick for most of the season even while he was injured, but I’ve been unimpressed with his play since he came back, but that might still be the injury. Plekanec may not be back next year, but I’ve heard that the negotiations are going well. Finally I think Gorges has an outside chance next year, he’ll be stabilizing the defence for years to come.
    Well those are my thoughts on the subject.

  12. no one on this wimpy team is worthy of being captain. it would would be captain by default and not an respected, earned position and certainly jacquiz martin is not worthy of picking one. the only jm move i agree with is his not naming a captain. if the season comes down to the leaf game i almost hope les leafs kick their asses. the bigger the failure the more drastic moves that should be made………… having said that, i hope OUR boys do well tonight. when the leafs beat the habs i get upset and i don’t like being upset.

    don’t piss me off.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *