Truck Drivin’ Man

For 20 years I drove tractor trailers throughout eastern Ontario and western Quebec, into lovely towns with lovely names like Cobden and Papineauville and Kazabazua. Later it became big chunks of Alberta where I would roll through Red Deer or down into Pincher Creek and Crowsnest Pass, or over to Banff and beyond. 

It was delivering groceries to big and small stores and hotels from Ottawa and Calgary bases, often using rollers and more often simply hand bombing, and it was a very physical and demanding job, not to mention driving in snowstorms and other downright rotten weather that took a big toll on my mind, my knees, and my first marriage. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve lost track of where I was on the highway because of blinding snow, or had to stop and wait out a white-out. A co-worker of mine even had his whole rig blown over by one of the extraordinary wind storms they get down by the Alberta-Montana border.

It was all very tiring and often way too stressful, and I decided I didn’t want to drive semi’s anymore.

But if I had to, if I was forced to, I’d want to deliver beer for Molsons with a big CH on the side of the trailer. If I’m going to be a truck driver, this is how I want it. It might even make me feel like I was part of the team.

26 thoughts on “Truck Drivin’ Man”

  1. Dennis, how much beer would I have to drink so that it could be delivered directly to my home in a big rig with a big CH on the side?

  2. Christopher, you wouldn’t be able to drink that much. You’d need me too. I think two pallets of beer would be enough for delivery. So that’s about 100 cases of 24 packs between the two of us. Of course we’d have to set up weekly delivery so that’s 100 cases a week between the two of us. Please let me know when you’re ready.

  3. Dennis, how can you drive the truck if you’re drinking that much? And anyway, aren’t you going to be busy running things when you buy the team?

  4. Tyg, I never thought of that. Would you mind terribly if you drove the truck and made the deliveries? I know it’s asking a lot but I’ve got a hockey team to run and a Cup to win. Please drop off several cases in my private box if you don’t mind.

  5. That’s what I like about the DK Express. It just keeps truckin’ on…

    Even in the off-season.

    And after you own the team, it won’t be Molson’s on written on the side of the truck. It going to be Dennis Kane’s Really Strong F@%*ing Beer. The same stuff you will be serving at the Bell Centre. Or maybe the newly resuscitated Forum? Just imagine how the fans are going to react when they start drinking that stuff…

    The possibilities are endless.

  6. And Danno, with a blog I get no bad weather! PS. I love the idea of incorporating Really Freaking Strong Beer into the business. It’s a great idea. And yes, it’s true – we’re moving back to the Forum.

  7. I hadn’t thought about Kane’s Really Strong F@%*ing Beer. I was already worried enough as to how to get through my share of a weekly delivery of regular beer. I think I need to find some more friends which is not an easy task as they must (in increasing difficulty)
    – devote allegiance to the Canadiens
    – love Really Strong F@%*ing Beer
    – have an indestructible liver
    – put up with me

  8. Christopher, you’re going to have to drink about 1270 bottles a week, or about 181 bottles a day. Maybe there’s a Kane’s Light we can think about.

  9. I don’t think I can handle that much on my own. Don’t doctors recommend a beer an hour as a safe and healthy dose? Hmm, 1 case == recommended daily serving of beer. I’m surprised they don’t put that on the side.

    Sorry Dennis, but I think Coors beat you to Really Light F@%*ing Beer.

  10. Sure Dennis, just so long as I get a cut on these deliveries. It also can’t interfere with me giving golf lessons to the team after they win the Cup. I may have to start drinking it myself though, if it’s got such a killer name. Can’t wait to see all the ghosts at the Old Forum!

  11. I return from holiday to work and general depression, the world is going to hell in a handcart but at least I know there exists a corner of the world where good sense and an appreciation of what matters still hold centre stage.

    Anyway now I’ve finished looking at beer blogs I’ll go and look at a hockey website or two…..

  12. Blue Bayou, did your holiday include visiting Montreal, in the Carcassonne region of France?
    As I recall you were going to do a little research on 12th Century Catharism and how it relates to the evolution of hockey.
    Or something to that effect…

  13. Hey Dennis… if you need a swamper, I’m available but I’m a Bud man so could we possibly sneak some of that into the trailer?

  14. Hey Dennis, I used tolive in Papineauville just after I was born, we had moved there from Thurso as my dad worked at the pulp mill there.I can only imagine the fun you would have driving for the Molson brewery,maybe when you made a trip up north I could have a ride back on the return trip.

  15. Hey Dennis, I realize, that the Crowsnest Pass seems like one big town, but it’s sort of made up of a bunch of small towns all joined together, like Blairmore, Coleman, Bellvue, and Frank (I think there is still a town called Frank, just outside of the Frank Slide, where Turtle Mountain came tumbling down in the early 1900’s [a pretty impressive site]). It actually reminds me a lot of the mountains on the I5 in Oregon where there are tons of towns that seem to be connected throughout. It’s a beautiful area, but it’d be pretty crappy to have to drive through there everyday. Out of curiosity did you have to go into the BC side of the Crowsnest Pass, as I grew up in that area?

  16. Hi Jesse, yes, I’d go through Frank and then do stores in Blairmore and Coleman. At times I’d go into BC and do Cranbrook and a few others. The landslide in Frank is amazing. Giant boulders everywhere. This area could be brutal in winter. I knew the towns were separated, I just mentioned Crowsnest Pass to cover this particular area.

  17. Blue Bayou – you might as well move to Canada. We don’t get depressed here. We just sit around and beautiful ladies in hockey jerseys feed us grapes. It’s quite a life.

  18. Derry, I’ll give you a ride as long as you take over the driving from time to time so I can drink beer.

  19. And Jesse, before I forget (I’m at work now), I didn’t do all these places every day. They’d be split up, one day it would be east of Red Deer (Trochu, Hanna, Drumheller etc), another day it would be the Crowsnest Pass area, another would be Canmore, Banff, Lake Louise area) etc. Same when in Ottawa. It could be the Cornwall area, or Wakefield area, or Pembroke area etc. All different days.

  20. Hi Dennis, don’t forget about me delivering cold ones to the team after they win their games. Nothing rewards success like a round or two with your team.

    I’ll make sure to deliver you beers AFTER the team because hockey first, owners/management next in line.

    Nothing personal, you’ll understand.

  21. DK, did you drive your rig into Pincher Creek? It must be deva vue I thought you only did that into the Ottawa River!
    Cheers from the East!!!!

  22. Dennis, doubles for the owner after a loss and zippo for the team. Maybe a tall glass of Gatorade and a stern conversation.

    Loved your comments to Blue Bayou about life in Canada.

  23. Diane, do you mean it’s not like that in the US? (beautiful women in hockey jerseys feeding grapes to the men?)

  24. Dennis, unfortunately the U.S. is not the paradise of your Canada. However, if you, Cam Neely or Bobby Orr visit, I’ll be more than happy to feed you grapes AND a cold Labatts while donning my jersey.

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