Todd Bertuzzi, Elmer Lach, And Some Guy From England

Now that pretty well every free agent has been signed by teams not named Montreal, including Todd Bertuzzi who is now a Calgary Flame, I guess the only players left for Bob Gainey are Teemu Selanne, Emile Bouchard, and Elmer Lach. Everyone else is gone.

 I suppose Bertuzzi, if he’s in the right frame of mind which remains to be seen, can be a real asset to a team because he’s huge and mean, with good hands. But when I heard he’d signed with Calgary, I admit I breathed a small sigh of relief that he didn’t end up a Hab.

 Bertuzzi, even before the Steve Moore incident, was known far and wide as a miserable type to the media and even to many of his own teammates. His best friend on the Canucks was Markus Naslund, and Naslund may have been his only friend. Yes, the grapevine extends to Powell River.

 I’m just not convinced he would’ve been a good Montreal Canadien. And not only on the ice. If he didn’t like interviews elsewhere, how would he have put up with the onslaught of reporters in Montreal?

 Not only that, a lot of women around Powell River thought he was a hot stud, which I never understood. I always thought of him as someone out of an Edgar Allan Poe novel.

 In other news:

 Philip Delves Broughton, writing for London’s Daily Mail newspaper, says British workers considering invitations to come to Canada to escape the UK rat race should think again.

Broughton says that while Britain’s national symbol is the lion and America’s is the eagle, Canada’s is the flat-tailed, slow-witted beaver.

And he also says that Britons shouldn’t think for one moment that watching Canadian hockey will distract them from our lousy climate.

“If you thought British sport was becoming crude and violent, try watching two teams of toothless brutes sliding around on ice and pausing every few minutes to beat the daylights out of each other,” he says.

10 thoughts on “Todd Bertuzzi, Elmer Lach, And Some Guy From England”

  1. I wonder what Mr. Broughton’s thoughts are regarding that oh-so-refined, gentlemen’s sport of rugby – THE winter sport of many British schools and universities. Players are not permitted to wear any protection (apart from a cup and a shin pad). You want to see brutality? Check out a rugger game!

  2. DK,

    LOL.I started up a riff & got down a page when, duh, it hit me that what needed to be said would take up far far too much space and time so let me cut this short …hehe. There are two basic kinds of hypocricy. The most common, the one that we all engage in to a greater or lesser extent is the kind that permits us to pretend to be who we are not. This is, for the most part benign and is an inherent part of our `nature’ and therefore integral to our social lives. The second kind, the kind that is running amok re Bert is of the less-benign kind and it involves holding other to standards which to which we do not hold ourselves. And please, spare me the bs that, as a hockey player, Bert is held to be more responsible to higher standards … uh? First, we learn that loyalty to one’s family, one’s friends, one’s country and one’s team is all-important, that a significant claim to honour and virtue are attached to this code. And in a society in which `team-player’ has been pretty well generalized to ALL endeavours, who the eff are Sport Reporters kidding here? UH, Bert wasn’t good with (a often rude, smarmy, aggressive media) & therefore they’ll show him ..uh? Sounds like mindless adhesion to `team loyalty’, eh? Ooop, excuse me! Reporters don’t go around hitting people. LOL. Not only do they not play hockey,

  3. DK,

    (sigh, bug problems)

    they don’t even toss wadded paper at each other and, spitballs! – horrors! But, hey they sure work hard at assaulting somebody in a far less honest, far more vicious way than B’s attack on Moore. And don’t get me wrong, (yeah, the smug little nerd-thugs luuv to spin things any which way tht suits them),by all means, freedom of speech is absolutely essential, standing up and speaking out is something that we must preserve with all our might, but … hmmm, reporters have a forum that the vast majority of us do not … hmmm .. they define what constitutes responsible reporting, what people should know … hmmmm, what is right/wrong good/bad … hmmm, how we should think about it … hmmm, is my point clear here? Bert has an oh-so-elevated responsibilty which reporters define and, of course, being a dumb brute of a hockey player, he sure shouldn’t be allowed to define their responsibilites ..LOL. Yup, those sports reporters sure know the score, they know better than everybody else because, hey, after all they’ve got a 2yr diploma or is it three? which means they are so much better educated, so much more aware, and therefore so much more able to decide what is good for us then, well, us. And, get this! They’re objective! Yes, far far more objective than everybody else because, why, they say so and besides they learned how to ask: Who What Where When Why & How and so they never get things wrong, they never leave out essentinal info, they never do not report on something, they never put a `spin’ on things with their word selection/info presentation becaue, why of course, they monitor themselves, they hold themselves to standards that make them impervious to special interests, invulnerable to group pressures – oh yes, they are all super-monads; oh yeah, no ideological agenda taints their view in their oh-so-noble, so heroic pursuit of the `TRUTH’ and they sure know it when they decide what it is, eh? Proof? Why they get prizes every year just like in the NHL which clearly demonstrates what great reporters they are. They sure know how to stick together, eh? What a great team (gang?) of hypocrites of the second kind! Yeah, Bert did wrong and yeah, Bert was punished and will be held accountable in civil law for his actions so this on-going smarmy ugly vicious assault on Bert is a contemptible example of the second kind of hypocricy in all it’s pathetic ways. Hell, murderers and rapists get off lighter than him. What a sham! What’s the agenda here? Duh, one particularly mealy-mouthed reporter was mouthing off about a `recividist’ code LOL a fancy word loaded with the connotative bs that somehow we’ve become more civilized, that the game has moved into a new higher mode of moral conduct, that valiant right-minded word warriors speaking out on behalf of the great silent majority (course, they sneer at the same `team?” when it suits them) are benevolently guiding us into a brave new world and, well, hey, can’t make an omelet with breaking some eggs, eh? Need a goat or two to sacrifice or whatever it takes to make OUR vision reality. LOL Okay, even this `short’ polemic is waaaay to little to properly address this crappola but then how fittingly ironic? hypocrital? that our `word warriors’ can so nicely hide behind this bulwark agains `objectively’ assessing their violent behaviour.

  4. DK,

    Duh, forgot to point out the obvious tie to the Burke/Lowe thing. Wow! This is NEWS?? I mean, who gives a flying fuck about a personal tiff here? Any impact it might have on hockey is nil other than the fact that Lowe applied the rules and somebody else objected … duh, what else is new in the wonderful world of human society? If there is an interest here, it’s not about hockey per se but about how we work as people, reporters included. Talk about irresponsible aggressive behaviour on the part of the usual suspects, eh?

  5. But the point is, if Bertuzzi is as miserable as they say, and by most accounts, he is, wouldn’t that affect the chemistry built in Montreal? If he’s a fair player but not embraced by his teammates, isn’t that bad?
    So it’s not about sports reporters, it’s about the affect a guy like him would have on the team. That’s the big picture.

  6. DK,

    No, that’s the `small’ picture. How he fits in with the rest of the team should, in theory, stay in the room. Only when the friction is so great that it directly impacts on performance of the team and/or some players should this be a matter of `fan’ interest and, even then, it is up to the team to deal with it. For example, Chad Johnson in Cinci wants out and because he is such an important high-level player he is causing all kinds of problems for the rest of the team and this is and should be made public and fans are entitled to have an opinion and to voice it, but not to the point that the slagging goes beyond his realtionship to the team or if it’s really bad, the sport and if really really bad the world of sports … uhuh, being a bad teammate is one thing but being constantly pilloried as a `social pariah’ by self-serving sanctimonious hypocrites is an entirely different thing and this is what has been done to Bert and the perps in this `crime’ ARE smug smarmy lazy? reporters posturing as concerned responsible `teammates’ of the NHL teams in particular and the NHL in general. As usual, unlike Bert who owned up to what he did, the abusers hide the ugliness of their actions behind the mask of virtue. LOL.

    p.s As for Bert in Montreal, now that Georges is there .. hmmm, got a suspension of a pretty vicious cheap shot this year, eh?, Bert would be redundant and, in retrospect, I tend to agree with you that if we had picked him up he would have been potentially more disruptive of team chemistry than he was worth. As for Calgary, that remains to be seen, but Iggy sure seems happy. In any case, until such time (if ever)as his off-ice persona becomes too dissonant, he should be judged strictly on his hockey contributions. And even if things don’t work out, so what? Portraying Bert as some kind of on-ice ticking time bomb and therefore as a `menace to society’ is at best unconscionable. And no, I am not nor ever was a fan of the `style’ of hockey played by Bert but I do defend his right, in the context of the game as it is played, to play it. I have always been a huge Habs fan for the simple reason they never did play goonishly or cheaply (cf the 60s Leafs, 70s Flyers)but relied for the most part on skill & finesse backed by a `defensive’ team toughness which was shown to be necessary when they kicked the the Goon Flyers’ collective ass in the 70s. Every member on those teams could take care of himself. And, yeah, I would luuuv to get Sundin not only because he is a great player but because he plays `tough’, the way our guys should all be playing.

  7. DK,

    Oh yeah, Broughton is right about the beaver, although we pretty well killed most of them off so English Gentlemen could have hats – hehe, an apt metaphor for Canada, indeed. I’ll even give him the maple leaf and multiculturalism, but really he should educate himself about everything else, especially England and more to the point northern England where, when it comes to sport, people tend to be both toothless and brainless ..hmm, is he from the north?

    Martin O …why would you use such a polite euphemism such as Mr. on a self-identified numbskull like Broughton? Here’s what we do: when Milbury sends Roberts to `tee off’ on Tiger we’ll get him to send Bert after Broughton … is there any being more deserving of a good high-sticking/elbow to the chops than a numbskull reporter?

  8. There’s no need to go all Daily Mail on Broughton. Many readers of that national daily simply want to read that kind of xenophobic tripe. If you want to read material that will offend not only your nationality, but your intellect, it’s the paper to go to.

    But, insofar as the toothless brutes, you have to admit he was pretty spot on. Two of the top goalscorers in the league have about seven teeth between them.

  9. topham,

    Hehe, who’s offended? This is about talking smack – a `verbal’ contact sport (only incidentally associated with Canada/Hockey), if U will – and I believe that our `U’r Momma is …’ game is better than theirs … nothwithstanding England’s glorious inglorious tradition that dates back to the inception of today’s modern newspaper, the broadsheet.

  10. Which reminds me, where is la P these days? I miss her as much as professional political assassins must miss Tricky Dicky – hehe, the Beatles got it wrong: we don’t need somebody to luuv, we need somebody to kick around. Whaddup, la P? Nothing to `spy’ on until the season kicks in?

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