To Robert Lang, Mathieu Schneider, Alex Tanguay, Patrice Brisebois, and Mathieu Dandenault:
The Powell River Regals, a respected and long-serving senior men’s hockey team that has won not one but three Allan Cups in the last 12 years, is going through a re-building stage. Many of the veterans just can’t keep up any more. Many of the younger whiz kids have decided to concentrate more on jobs and family than on hockey. And some players coming up from minor hockey simply aren’t showing the necessary skills to help the club take on the Bentley Generals and Brantford Blasts of the world.
The Regals are therefore looking for some hired guns and feel the five of you would put the team over the top and once again bring home the Allan Cup to the promised land, Powell River.
And you’d like it here. Unfortunately, the club is unable to provide you with a job at the paper mill as they did decades ago, because there just aren’t many jobs left there. But you could make a tidy sum picking mushrooms or working part-time on a fish farm. And anyway, you already have enough money.
Theoren Fleury suited up for the Bentley Generals a while back, so if senior hockey’s good enough for him, it should be good enough for you. And I’ve been to Bentley and you don’t want to go there.
Here’s how we’ll handle this. Just buy a ticket to Vancouver, and then just buy another ticket on Pacific Coastal for $150, fly north for 25 minutes, and I’ll pick you up at our little airport up Duncan Street. One of you can sleep on my couch, and I’m sure some of the Regals have comfortable couches for the rest of you. Real estate is fair here and you can get a house if you want, with an ocean view even. Your kids will love it.
If you’re feeling a little unwanted right now, don’t. The Powell River Regals want you.