The Montreal Canadiens Might Be Calling Me Up!

To:

Bob Gainey – General Manager, Montreal Canadiens

Pierre Boivin – President

Dear Sirs,

The other day, the New York Yankees allowed comedian Billy Crystal to not only work out with the team in full uniform, but to also take a full at-bat during a spring training game against the Pirates. The Yankees are a world-class organization and know what they’re doing.

But the Montreal Canadiens are also a world-class organization, and therefore, I’m taking this opportunity to request the chance to dress for an exhibition game next fall.

Although I haven’t had skates on in ten years, and am almost as old as Billy Crystal, I haven’t smoked in quite some time, and I feel I could contribute on right wing, possibly in place of Michael Ryder. Or, if you need me on defence, I’m sure there will be a few openings in the fall (Patrice Brisebois, Mathieu Dandenault etc.) You could even schedule me for when you meet the Senators. I know I could stop Jason Spezza. No one seems to able to do this job now, so why don’t you let me try. I can’t be any worse.

I’m not asking for much, just an exhibition game. However, if I own the puck the way Henri Richard did in his initial season, you may feel free to keep me.

When I was about 13 years old, I wrote to Sam Pollock asking to be stick boy for a game at the Forum, and Mr. Pollock promptly wrote back saying that if he let me do it, he’d basically open up a can of worms, and I must be content to watch my favourite players from a distance.

I’ve stewed over this for decades, as I feel I would have been exceptionally fast in giving a new stick to Mr. Beliveau or Mr. Rousseau if they had broken one during the action.

I sort of feel I was cut from the team.

So now’s your chance to make good and clear my mental issues that came from rejection all those years ago.

If the Yankees can do it, so can you.

Oh, and if you don’t mind, can I please wear number 6 for the game? I’ve always felt I was a Ralph Backstrom-type player, smallish but speedy, and I’m sure Mr. Kostopoulos wouldn’t mind sitting out, as he does it quite often anyway.

Thanks a lot.

Dennis Kane.

4 thoughts on “The Montreal Canadiens Might Be Calling Me Up!”

  1. To:

    Bob Gainey – General Manager, Montreal Canadiens

    Pierre Boivin – President

    Dear Sirs,

    I suggest that U engage the services of Dennis Kane & trade him forthwith to the Ottawa Senators. Having to wear a logo other than that of the Habs will so disgruntle him that he’ll wreak havoc on their morale … more so than even Ray Emery.

    If u need more tactical tips & strategic advice, call me. I come cheap – a stick (autographed), a puck (unfrozen), jersey (#4, red, flannelle).

    der Habinator

  2. Dk,

    Got ur e-mail but for some reason my reply won’t go thru – acutally not all that surprise I have had problems with hacking & even tho this is my fourth e-mail address this sort of thing keeps happening. Can U send another e-mail, short & I’ll try `reply’ with it.

  3. LES CANADIENS
    TOONITE a few will be scracht from the line up,lapierre among one of them CARBONNEAU was not to happy with the last game,WELL OTTAWA WANTED IT MORE THATS ALL,the devil are doing good today that wont help MONTREAL in the standing,BRODEUR with a 40th win,the type of guy you need and can count on every years it seem,anyway LES CANADIENS should win tonite
    good day
    DAN.G.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *