The master plan is about to stage its final chapter.
And the master plan is this: Suck for almost 70 games and then don’t suck for the last few.
Keep reasonably close to a playoff spot while sucking, and then put the hammer down when there’s just enough time to do it.
Suffer through so many injuries that Montreal city council was debating whether to build a hospital just for Habs players. But with only a dozen or less games to go, everyone gets healthy and it becomes so heartwarming that Warner Bros. is contemplating making a Christmas movie about it.
Mike Cammalleri and Marc-Andre Bergeron return like the cavalry coming over the hill to save the wagon train and a picture book with illustrations of beautiful things like flowers, deer grazing, babies laughing, and Sophia Loren taking her top off, now includes the Montreal power play.
The team, with Carey Price in goal, whips the Ottawa Senators on Monday night, a game where an errant puck crashes into Mike Fisher’s face and he becomes so hideous-looking, Carrie Underwood drops him and admits she has the hots for Jacques Martin.
The team then ventures forth into Buffalo and scores several soft goals from far out because Sabres goalie Ryan Miller still has tears in his eyes from the gold medal game.
Next they proceed to demolish the Panthers, a game where Jacques Martin isn’t even needed so he decides to make out with Underwood in the trainers room.
The Devils on Saturday lose when Ryan O’Byrne scores his first goal of the year, and after the puck is finally located in Switzerland and brought home again, is placed in the Hall of Fame.
And on it goes. The master plan is unfolding. But why didn’t they just make it easier on everyone and not get injured?