The Leafs Haven’t Won Since Pamela Anderson Was A Virgin

Leaf fans line up on Toronto's Yonge St. for the big 1967 Stanley Cup parade
Leaf fans line up on Toronto's Yonge St. for the big 1967 Stanley Cup parade

The Toronto Maple Leafs, who play the Habs on Tuesday, haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967.

We all feel terrible about this. It’s a really long time ago, 42 years. And 42 years means – if you were born in 1967, you’re old enough to be a grandparent. You were born long before home computers and digital cameras. Electric typewriters were state-of-the-art technology. The Beatles still liked each other. Brand new cars that year are now antique classics. I was a rotten teenaged bastard at this time.

Julia Roberts, Nicole Kidman and Pamela Anderson were born in 1967. Expo 67 opened in Montreal. Not one player now playing in the NHL was born yet. And because there were no computers, it meant there were no blogs to remind everyone that the Leafs haven’t won in 42 years.

It’s a long time ago.  A long, long time ago.

Don Cherry had just turned 33 when the Leafs last won. Ron Maclean was 7, Jacques Martin 14, and Leafs coach Ron Wilson was 12.

And Leaf players now? George Armstrong is 79, Dave Keon 69, Frank Mahovlich 71, Bob Pulford 73, Allan Stanley 83, and Johnny Bower is 85.

Cost of Living 1967 (in the US, but similar to Canada)

How Much things cost in 1967
Yearly Inflation Rate USA 2.78%
Yearly Inflation Rate UK 2.7%
Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 905
Average Cost of new house $14,250.00
Average Income per year $7,300.00
Average Monthly Rent $125.00
Gas per Gallon 33 cents
Average Cost of a new car $2,750.00
Movie Ticket$1.25
Polaroid Camera $50.00
Parker Pen Set $11.95
The Federal Minimum Wage is increased to $1.40 an hour


16 thoughts on “The Leafs Haven’t Won Since Pamela Anderson Was A Virgin”

  1. And my brother insists I play goalie for a joyous afternoon of road hockey with him out on the blacktop….just sticks and pucks ‘eh, or maybe it was a tennis ball…..whatever!!! Aaaaah, the painful memories…..

  2. Other then the Leafs winning the cup, it was a pretty good year. In a very small, insignificant way I almost feel bad for the Leafs, then I remember that I’m a Habs fan and we have 24 cups. Looooseerrrsssss.

  3. Those poor Leafs, Justin. Those poor, poor, poor, poor Leafs. And I don’t feel bad for their fans. They could’ve chosen the Habs. But instead, they decided to go with a team that hasn’t won the Cup since Pam was a virgin.

  4. Dennis, thanks for digging up that ancient and extremely rare old photograph of the Leaf fans waiting for the parade on Yonge Street.

    Those old pictures are hard to find. Before this one was uncovered, archeologists believed only cave drawings existed.

  5. Yes Danno, I love finding collectors items from those days when the Leafs won. They’re extremly rare and most have never seen any.

  6. Danno, that guy has nothing to worry about, they aren’t going to make the playoffs.

    Sadly, this all that remains of that poor fan sitting in the far left of the picture.

  7. Hey Dennis;1967 eh,confederation celebration,Pamela Anderson is born,Expo in Montreal,the first time I was allowed to take out the garbage alone..oh ya the Leafs won the Stanley Cup.I almost forgot that last one,but you got me to thinking,although the leafs havent won since then,I bet they havent been scored on as much as Pam.

  8. Dennis, don’t count out Chris Chelios just yet. He’s still playing and a team may sign him for depth and experience in a Stanley Cup run. Chris is my inspiration that I’m not yet too old to play in the NHL.

  9. Yeah, Chelios would count. I still imagine why he’d bother. Retirement’s not bad, I think, when you’ve got a bunch of millions.

  10. Hmm… Leafs havent won since ’67 yet they still own the second most cups of all time. Just how bad does everyone else in the league suck?

    Do you have any pictures of the last time the hawks won? or did they get wiped out during the ice age? What about a picture of classy hab fans? Or do they not exist?

    Shouldn’t you be getting ready to boo the american anthem, boo your #1 goalie and burn down the city?

    How much will it sting when the Leafs kick the habs ass tonight?

  11. Matt, if you want a picture of classy Hab fans, just grab your camera, go somewhere there are people and take a picture. Hab fans are everywhere and we’re very classy. We have a very high standard to live up to, set by the Canadiens organization, the epitome in class.
    You may be confusing a few drunken idiots as Hab fans. Montreal happens to be a fun place to to be which sometimes attracts the wrong people. But they’re not Hab fans, they’re just idiots. If you want them feel free to take them.

    Oh and tonight’s result stings butt-loads. However the knowledge that we’ll be hoisting the Stanley Cup soon enough is very soothing.

  12. You have knowledge that the habs will win the cup soon? Really, should I lay some money down on it? The 16 year drought is just the tip of the iceberg IMO.

    Anyways, youre right, there are some classy hab fans, actually there are alot, they just usually arent online scowering the blogs. Every team has dickhead fans, leafs included. I was just spewing some grease on the gameday fire.

    Ive been to Montreal and ive been to games at the Bell Centre, good crowd and a good city. Always tons of fun.

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