The Father, Son, And The Goalie Host

“There they are,” said the dad, “here they come onto the ice,”
And the little kid looked and he found Carey Price.

He saw him skate to his net and work to get ready,
Dad said to his kid, “He looks mighty steady.”

The kid loved his goalie, his idol Carey Price,
But some booed and he asked, “Dad, why aren’t they nice?”

“They’re bad,” said the dad, as his boy started to cry,
“You won’t be like them when you’re a big guy.”

“Maybe he’ll want to get away from all this,
Be somewhere else, Montreal he won’t miss.”

“Carey Price is my hero,” said the boy through his tears,
“And I want him around for a whole bunch of years.”

“Me too,” said the dad, as Price stops pucks as he sprawls.
“What these people need is a swift kick to the balls.”

14 thoughts on “The Father, Son, And The Goalie Host”

  1. Dennis, I take my Habs hat off to you. The sheer brilliance of this – my fave new poem – comes with the added bonus of knowing that overrated hack Percy Bysshe Shelley is gnashing his teeth and spinning in his grave with envy.

    Too thick? Still, I love it!

  2. Danno, and here I thought that my new Habs furniture was something special. It pales in comparison to your toaster. So tell me the booing office has a short line today. Surely there can’t be that many boobirds in Ottawa as in Montreal?

  3. No Tyg, booing is strictly controlled in Ottawa since it is a regulated government town. The health department has declared booing to be bad for you. There is a local bylaw that forbids booing in public places because even second-hand booing has been found to be bad for your health.
    As a result, all booers must congregate in little huddles at least 50 meters away from all Scotiabank Place entrances to do their booing outside.

  4. I’m waiting a call back from the Palace to see whether Her Maj has to choose the Poet Laureate from persons born in these sceptered isles (the UK that is).

    If not Dennis, I’d say your next up ’cause no other living poet is worthy.

    Is the term “Host” the collective noun for goalies in any sport or just hockey?

    (A 4-2 win. Feel the power of the Syrup.)

  5. Blue Bayou, it’s “host” as in “the team hosted the Senators last night.” Or “the host team beat the shit out of the Senators last night.” Or something like that. And if I get the Poet Laureate thing in Britain, can I live in one of the Beatles’ old houses?
    The power of the syrup. Just don’t let Roberto Luongo get ahold of it. “A little dab will do ya.” Thank you for contributing to the win. If you can keep this up for the entire season, your syrup just may end up in the Hall of Fame!
    And is it true the Queen is well-endowed?

  6. We need a vigilante to patrol the Bell Centre and dole out punishment to unruly fans. One swift kick and all booing will end forever.

  7. Thanks for the clarification. As with all great art the meanings are many layered and I understood it to be a reference to the “host” of goalies on the Canadien’s books and how they may have to use ’em all if Cary doesn’t measure up.

    I think the Laureate gets paid in Sherry. For a man used to DK’s Great F*****g Beer, this can only be a disappointment. But just think of the honour.

    As to the Queen, Her Majesty’s has not seen fit to vouchsafe details of her endowments to me.

  8. Blue Bayou, I don’t mind sherry. In fact, me and the boys used to drink Four Aces sherry (95 cents a bottle) down by the tracks with the bums. But I was really hoping to live in one of the Beatles’ houses. Me and the F*****g Beer and and several swimsuit models in a Beatles mansion. Patti Boyd Harrison is invited anytime she wants.

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