That Damn Youppi

From HabsWorld Forums, something to tickle your funny bone and get you out of this surly mood you’ve found yourself in after the recent and rotten performances by Les Glorieux.

FIRE YOUPPI

“I think we can all agree that Youppi has not only lost the fans but also the locker room as well. How can the Molsons expect to turn this team around when our mascot is completely unable to motivate the players and fans? We’ve seen the quality of his cheering and dancing decline for a long while now and I for one have had enough. As long as Youppi is wearing number ‘!’, this team will never win a Stanley Cup.”

“Youppi was a terrible signing in the first place. His last team sucked and shuttered, why we would hire him is beyond me.
I say, fire the bastard right now.
Now someone is going to come in and say “who would we hire who would be any better?”.. Simple.. ice girls!”

“All the data shows that Youppi! has in fact been an above-average NHL mascot. The decibel level of children’s squeals of delight in his presence exceeds that attained by the supposedly impeccable Canucks’ mascot Fin by .078%, for instance. The boldness of his colour palette is also in the top third. The fact is that Youppi! is being made a scapegoat for deeper organizational problems, such as the inadequacy of the beer served at the Bell Centre and the crapiness of the DJ. I still say we can contend with Youppi! Stop the scapegoating NOW.”

“Youppi smells.  ‘Nuff said.”

“He’s too small……………………when compared to other “power” mascots around the league!”

“I think we can all agree that his replacement should be the best candidate available at the position, not based on being francophone.”

9 thoughts on “That Damn Youppi”

  1. Hilarious, thanks Dennis, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in months.

    One of the last ones is my favourite. “I don’t think the problem lies there. We have been stuck with inconsistant team since Roger Doucette passed away. If the anthem is sung just so then magic happens on the ice. If not… ”

    After players, coach, GM, mascot and anthem singer, it can’t be long until there are demands to replace the stick-boy.

  2. We can replace Youpee with a “bottom feeder” mascot like a sea cucumber or bristleworm. They’re as about exciting as our players (except tonight).

    Another thing, if they’re planning on having a shootout showdown after every match now, why don’t they tone up the shots at practice? Like a lot! They’re boring with a capital B.

  3. Why not give Youppi a chance in the shoot-out? He can’t be any worse than the current shooters. As whole idea is just a stupid gimmick to make a more enjoyable ending to the game, watching him try will be funny no matter what the result.

    The entire practice tomorrow should be forwards scoring in shoot-outs and the goalies stopping them. The defense needs to learn to play the point on the power-play.

  4. Marjo, they’re quite pathetic on the shootout for sure. How come other teams know how to score on these and we don’t? I’m almost ready to start my cricket blog. As soon as I learn the rules.

  5. Chris, when I took Luciena to the Hockey Hall of Fame, she tried the shooting on nets with the shot being timed. She didn’t do well because she’d never held a hockey stick before. But having said that, she still might do better than these guys in a shootout.

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