Tag Archives: Toronto Argonauts

Argos Cancel Stamps

The big game, the 100th Grey Cup, is now in the books as the Toronto Argonauts outshone the Calgary Stampeders 35-22, and it wasn’t nearly as close as the scoreboard showed. Calgary’s offence, with Kevin Glenn at the helm, couldn’t put together any kind of attack, passes fell short, there was no pressure and too many turnovers. They reminded me completely of the Habs power play.

Half time was almost interesting, with good old Orillia boy Gordon Lightfoot warbling his Canadian Railroad Trilogy, followed soon after by Justin Bieber doing whatever it is he does. Gordon looks old, his voice is weaker now but it’s still there, and he needs a haircut. Justin of course is a couple years younger than Gordon, his voice is downright mediocre, and he doesn’t need a haircut.

Maybe I’m wrong but I feel Mr. Bieber won’t be having a brilliant 50-year career like Gordon has. If I am wrong, you can remind me in 50 years and I’ll apologize and buy you a beer.

An unfortunate offshoot to the game? Thanks to it, the hole in the ozone is going to get bigger once again. You think cows give off emissions? You blame the cows for affecting the ozone? They’re not the only culprits. There’s also the Grey Cup partiers who ate chili and drank beer and are now polluting the atmosphere with hideous gases. Chili and beer, lots of it, consumed by way too many football fans, turning the air into a horrific, smelly, ozone hole-creating mess. And sometimes they light lighters under their bums to show they don’t care.

Of course cows are a problem too. It’s disgusting how they spend their days. Maybe if we could get a billion people or so to eat nothing but cheeseburgers and meatloaf for a decade or two, the cattle population would decrease and the hole in the ozone would have time to heal.

Next year, the Grey Cup is in Regina, where the world’s greatest football fans live. Crazy, loveable, hard workin’, hard livin’ prairie football fans.

The ozone’s in big trouble next year.

Big Canadian Day, Eh!

For those of you in other countries, today, Sunday, is a big day in Canada. Grey Cup Day. The 100th Grey Cup. When Canadians from coast to coast gather to eat meatballs, dips and chili. They also drink a lot of beer on this day, which is never a good idea because most have to work the next day, and if they haven’t learned in 100 years, they probably never will. But Canadians are Canadians. Just a wild and crazy bunch.

This Grey Cup will feature the Toronto Argonauts hosting the Calgary Stampeders, and I don’t really have a favourite. Maybe the team with the best-looking cheerleaders. Maybe I’ll root for the Argos because Torontonians have the Leafs and I feel sorry for them.

This was a trophy donated by Earl Grey in 1909. He originally had wanted to give away silverware that represented the best amateur hockey team in the country, but that rascal Sir Montagu Allan beat him to it, so Earl had to make it football because all the good hockey trophies had already been taken. I’ll bet he was pissed when he found out Monty got there first.

Habs great Doug Harvey was a huge fan, and once played against the Argos as a member of the Quebec Rugby Football Union, which in the 1940s was part of the CFL. He said that if he had to choose between hockey and football, he’d choose football. The Canadiens would often find themselves playing in Toronto on Grey Cup night, and coach Dick Irvin warned the guys not to go to the big game in the afternoon because he didn’t want any of them getting colds and sore throats and all that. The fine was $500, and every year Doug would go to the game and then pay the fine.

Cure for the hangover? Okay.

This is a sure thing, and it’s taken most of my life to figure it out. Put your coat on and walk about nine kilometers (5.5 miles), or more. I don’t know why this works. Maybe it’s something about getting the blood flowing. Or crisp air getting into your lungs. But it’s the best hangover cure I’ve ever tried, and I’ve tried a lot.

Random Note:

If your math doesn’t add up, that this is the 100th Grey Cup even though the trophy was donated in 1909, it’s because the game wasn’t played during the First World War years. At least I think that’s how it works.