The season’s about to kick off and once again I dig this out in the off-chance the decision makers finally have a change of heart. Why stop now? Hey Habs management, I’m not able to be at the Bell Centre for the free hot dog, chips, and pop, so can I be stick boy instead?

Dear Montreal Canadiens, In next year’s NHL Entry Draft, can I be one of the little kids that goes up on stage? I was turned down as stick boy and then flag boy, so I’m asking nicely if I can now be draft boy. Oh, you say you have to be the owner’s son or something? [...]

You were served your cold quarts of beer by middle-aged men in white shirts, at plain tables with ashtrays and cigarette burns, with framed artwork of different Canadiens’ players lining the walls around you. A thick haze of smoke lingered in the air, and people huddled at tables and talked and solved world problems. Except for the pictures on the walls, it [...]

“Try this one Rocket, it might have a couple of goals in it.” “Thanks Dennis, you’ve never steered me wrong before. You’re the best stick boy I’ve ever seen.”

Now that my back is on the mend (I think), I’m about to begin serious workouts in preparation for hockey season and a possible spot on the 2012 Olympic gymnastic team. I think you’ll be very proud of me. I’m now ordering the much heavier pint glass instead of the smaller variety to give my arms and [...]

Highly sought after free agent stick boy Dennis Kane has been signed by the Montreal Canadiens to provide that much needed speed on the bench in providing sticks to players on the fly. More details to come as the story unfolds.