Tag Archives: Sigmund Freud

Hab Fixer-Uppers

Maybe only Sigmund Freud could come close to finding an answer to why the Habs, as they were last night and so many times in recent years, can come out to an exciting atmosphere and play like it’s past their bedtime. So uninspired, so freaking lousy.

Freud might have known what the problem is, but he’s dead. So it’s left up to us to understand.

Here’s some of my suggestions:

Whichever restaurants the players eat at, fire the cooks.

Send the wives to Powell River and the kids to an uncle’s so the guys can focus better.

Arrange for an exorcism performed on the dressing room.

Build a new dressing room and start over.

Build a new rink and move.

Have the players look up to the sky and say sorry to dead Habs.

Go back to wood sticks and sweaters with tie-up necks.

Do what many dads do – give a buck for every goal scored.

Decline power plays.

Forget the free hot dogs, chips, and pop at inter-squad games and morning skates. After last night, fans deserve steaks, beer, and morphine.

Start playing Brendan Gallagher while he’s still enthusiastic, and before he starts playing like everybody else.

Issue strong laxatives to players so they can rid themselves of their obvious constipation.

Ask Dr. Recchi if it’s a health issue with the guys and how would he fix it.

If you see PK Subban drive by, throw snowballs at his car.

Wear those striped retro sweaters so the opposition goes cross-eyed.

Set up Walter and Jesse, from Breaking Bad, in the Bell Centre basement and have them start making meth for the players.

Pay the players by the mile, like truck drivers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Congratulations To Viggo

Actor Viggo Mortensen has dedicated his Genie Award to the Montreal Canadiens, which is a tremendous gesture. Viggo won the best-supporting award on Thursday night for his portrayal of famed psychologist Sigmund Freud in the movie A Dangerous Method.

I’ve been saying for months that the Habs need a good shrink, and I think there’s a hidden meaning in here somewhere.

Thanks to both Danno and my son Rory for sending me this heads-up.

Getting Two Points The Ugly Way

I guess we could say the Habs won the game and got two big points, so we should be happy.

But the way they went about it needs to be recorded, then buried deep into cement like Jimmy Hoffa.

It was a 5-4 overtime win for the Habs over the pesky Calgary Flames, thanks to PK Subban accepting a Scott Gomez pass and blasting it into the net.

That part we high-five and celebrate.

The fact that the Canadiens blew a 4-0 lead is ugly. Ugly as can be. Usually it’s only two or three goal leads we can’t hold. Now it’s four goals. If only Sigmund Freud were alive to explain it to us.

I don’t want to criticize Alex Auld. Maybe he has kids who might see this by mistake and feel bad if I write nasty things. It’s not Auld’s fault. Not because he was weak, but because it was Montreal’s decision to hire him in the first place.

So I’ll say nothing bad about him. But it tells the organization one thing – this is what you’ll get most times from Auld, and although it’s not going to be good to play Carey Price most every night from here on it, it’s what must be done. Alex just isn’t a good goalie, bless his heart.

Auld has won this year, but it was mostly just good fortune. He doesn’t stand on his head, some nights the puck just misses by inches, sometimes it hits him, and he’s managed a handful of wins this way. He’s trying, he’s probably a good guy with a lovely family, but from here on in, we need to see Price.

On the bright side, Lars Eller scored, as did Mike Cammalleri, Andrei Kostitsyn, and Jeff Halpern. Kostitsyn once again played with much more interest and it seems he’s decided to use his great shot more. It doesn’t take Sigmund Freud to figure out that that’s what he should be doing.

Next up – Tuesday in Buffalo. It’s probably a great thing to get out of Dodge for a bit. Fans want a couple of answers and the team probably doesn’t feel like getting into it right now.