I’ve found, through trial and error, that the best way to feel melancholy is a quart of tequila, some Four Aces sherry, and a gram of crystal meth mixed with a couple of black Kashmir hash brownies dipped in powdered quaaludes. And it’s times like this that I sit and look out the window and [...]

I really can’t say what happened. Maybe the players’ wives called when I wasn’t home. I might have deleted their emails my mistake. All I know is, I haven’t heard from them after my outstanding offer to look after them when their husbands are on the road. Look, wives, if you don’t want to see [...]