For those of you who lay awake at nights tossing and turning about what will happen to Scott Gomez once he’s bounced from the Canadiens, fear not, I’ve found a league for him in my trusty Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. And my apology to Uncle John for taking the liberty of adding Gomez to the Bathroom Reader description.
“The Pillow Fight League (PFL) consists solely of women and Scott Gomez who hit each other with pillows. Wearing bizarre costumes (as well as mouth guards, knee pads, and elbow pads), fighters with names like Betty Clock’er, Polly Esther, and Gomer duke it out in front of hundreds of spectators at clubs and ballrooms across the United States and Canada. If a five-minute bout ends without one fighter successfully pinning her (or his) opponent’s shoulders (with a pillow), then the panel of three PFL judges chooses the winner based on “style, stamina, and the Eye of the Tiger.”
Gomez so far has pinned three opponents, but unfortunately, has also had seventeen ladies pin him. “I’m really embarrassed with my season,” explained Gomer, “and I promise that next year will be different.”