Tag Archives: Mark Carney

No More Lockouts. Just Move The League

Bank of Canada governor Mark Carney has been given the big job across the pond of Bank of England governor, and Blue Bayou (Donal) in London wants to know which team the guy cheers for. BB also thinks the NHL (20 teams) should move to England and play for the Cup there instead. Here’s his letter:


I am writing to you in a state of high agitation.

I have just read that the next Governor of The Bank Of England is to be a Canadian. Yes a Canadian, you heard it right. The country that built the world, is the cradle of civilization and has more wankers, sorry I mean bankers per square foot than any other part of the world is unable to supply its own Governor and is giving the keys to the money box to a Canadian.

On the plus side Mark Carney appears to have played back up goalie for the Harvard Crimson or some such, so it’s safe to say he’s a hockey man.

But Dennis, who does he support? He appears to come from Fort Smith which is out where the buses don’t turn, but is near Alberta. Is he an Oilers man? Get on the case Dennis. Because if he’s a Leafs man by any crazy chance I’m getting down to Parliament and there’ll be a ruck over this. And going to Harvard? I’ve been there once. It’s close to Boston. But there’s no way is there?

Subject to him being sensible in who he supports I’m prepared to give him a chance. But it’s important that he doesn’t get too bogged down in financial detail, quantitative easing and all that. If we’re going to give Canadians our key jobs then we need something back from them.

He has to set about getting a proper Elite League going here. Not the one we have now but a really, really big one, so we can basically offer the NHPLA a lock stock and barrel move to Blighty. 20 teams spread around the country. Money no object. After all, he just has to tell the Royal Mint to print more pound notes.

I’ll talk to Molson. There isn’t a London team and won’t be. That slot is reserved for the Canadiens, who will still be the Montreal Canadiens. We’ll rename a part of London, Montreal just so it all fits together. Subsidized travel funded by the B of E for Habs fans, with free hotels etc. and beer money for the trip.

The new Leafs and Bruins can go and dwell up North somewhere cold and dismal.

It’s tough on you guys I know. But you had your chance. You let all that expansion nonsense go on and you’ve had too many lockouts. Time to bury the NHL and let the English have a go. The Bank of England League. Playing for the Lord Stanley Cup. Has a proper ring to it I think you’ll agree.

Cheers for now