Tag Archives: Karl Alzner

Canadiens Smelled Like……..

A comatosed and confused Canadiens squad were bombed 6-2 by the Edmonton Oilers on Saturday night at the Bell Centre, and once again the season unravels for our lovable unlikable ones.

All that fine and dandy good work shown recently, down the drain like an old man’s hoark in the kitchen sink.

All that clawing back from a deadly early season slump to win five straight, look great, and suddenly find themselves in a playoff spot – down the drain.

Carey Price going from mediocre to terrible to finally being the real Carey Price again – down the drain, because he’s back to mediocre again.

Now it’s three straight losses and they smelled worse than the broccoli and fish salad I bought at the deli today. They were every bit as bad as any night during this pathetic season. Worse than most.

Could it be that all 22 players are going through a divorce which is affecting their play?

Mistakes, like Charles Hudon failing to get the puck over the blueline, it was quickly turned over, and ex-Hab Mike Cammalleri scored his first goal in 37 games to open the scoring.

Our man Price stopped the puck behind the net and nonchalantly shot it around, only to have the puck knocked out of the air and yes, into the net it ended up, and it became 2-0. Price did this before when the team was in the pits of hell and now he’s done it again.

Shea Weber, who truly smelled like my broccoli and fish salad, was slow to cover his man, and it was 3-0. Then it was 4-0 (two goals within the first 2 1/2 minutes of the second period), and Price was out and Antti Niemi was in.

And to make a long story short, it became 4-1, then 5-1 (Karl Alzner kicked it into his own net), 6-1, and 6-2.

This game was worse than Patrick Kane’s Stanley Cup popcorn maker commercial. Yes, it was that bad.

A few good things were done by the Habs on Saturday night. They all apparently managed to drive to the rink without hitting a lamppost. And they……okay, it’s just the lamppost thing. Everything else sucked.

This is good though……

 

 

 

The Start Can’t Be Much Worse

Seven games in, the Canadiens sit 30th overall with just 3 points (1-5-1). Only Arizona, with one measly point, is worse.

Montreal’s goals per game is the lousiest in the league (31st), with a 1.43 average.

They’re in 28th place for Goals Against (3.86).

27th on the power play (7.7%).

24th on the penalty kill (76.9%)

Stay-at-home defenceman Karl Alzner has 3 assists, which puts him number two on the team behind Jonathan Drouin, who has 5 points.

Alex Galchenyuk has 1 goal and 0 assists. The same goes for Max Pacioretty.

The guy with the big shot, Shea Weber, has a goal and an assist.

Carey Price, apparently the world’s greatest goalie, has a mediocre .885 save %. He’s lost his last five starts.

Tonight the Canadiens are in Anaheim. “Go Habs Go” he said weakly.

 

Habs Fall To Leafs In OT

The Canadiens fell 4-3 in overtime to the visiting Toronto Maple Leafs, and the hockey world is in utter disbelief that Montreal would give…

…a run for their money.

Yes, Montreal would take the lead just 2:19 into the first period when Jeff Petry blasted one from the point after a nice set up by Jonathan Drouin, they were outplaying the blue and white by a nice margin, the Bell crowd was happy, life was as it should be, but two goals in 44 seconds by the Leafs, who are…

in the history of the world…and the Habs looked to be in big trouble because the Torontonians can score and the Montrealers can’t, so we waited for the Bell Centre roof to cave in. But lo and behold, Alex Galchenyuk, with his first goal (and point) of the season while on the power play, the team’s first PP goal of the season, and it was hard to believe for all concerned.

How could the lowly Montreal Canadiens hang tough like this? Against a team that Central Canada hockey broadcasters, writers, analysts, hanger-ons, groupies, Don Cherry, Richard Simmons, Kim Jong-un, 5000 Syrian refugees, and many more, all consider to be…

Donald Trump can’t wait to invite them to Washington where he’ll have blue trim painted around the White House windows in honour of this juggernaut. Although he’s undecided about Nazem Kadri.

Montreal took the lead in the second period when Jonathan Drouin redirected a Karl Alzner hard pass from the blueline, but just 1:10 later, Patrick Marleau inched the puck just over the line, the teams were tied at three, and would remain so for the rest of the middle frame and all of the third.

Sadly in overtime, Auston Mathews notched the winner, Leaf fans rejoiced, and Sportsnet’s Daren Millard, who compares the Leafs to  Gretzky’s Oilers, had to be excused to go to the bathroom.

All in all, it was Montreal’s best outing of this young season, and now have 1 win, 3 losses, and 1 overtime loss/point racked up. Most importantly, three guys who had yet to score – Petry, Galchenyuk, and Drouin, did so, and maybe it’ll get them rolling. Rome wasn’t built in a day, a few others need to step up, and Max needs to stop shooting from far out at goalies who stop these type of shots while gawking at lovely ladies in the stands.

Another concern lingers, the sometimes mediocre backstopping of Carey Price. With this lineup we need Price at his best most of the time, but it hasn’t happened yet. We’ve seen some sensational stops from the guy, but because he’s Price, we need more than just some.

They fought valiantly but couldn’t get it done against the…

Random Notes:

The Canadiens now jet to California for games in San Jose on Tuesday, L.A. Wednesday, and Anaheim on Friday.  What a shitty October schedule for this team. Not that there should be any excuses I suppose.

Time now for…