Tag Archives: Hugh Hefner

Early Season Habs Blues

Four measly goals (and a shootout marker) in four games. Three straight losses after falling 3-1 to the Chicago Blackhawks on opening night at the Bell Centre. Another night of the power play shooting blanks.

If this keeps up, those wild and crazy Montreal Canadiens should be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs sometime around Christmas and we can concentrate fully on the magic of winter, spring, and early summer.

But they looked great in the first period, which should give us some hope. Maybe false hope. Tomas Plekanec handed the boys a 1-0 lead just 1:15 in, after letting loose a nice wrist shot, and they even ended the frame with 16 shots to the Hawks’ 7.

Really good. I was happy. Not happy the way Hugh Hefner was probably happy, but still pretty happy.

The problem was, Chicago scored twice in 19 seconds with only a couple of minutes left in the first, so all the good work that had been done was crushed like a beer can on a frat boy’s forehead.

And the main problem is, even though the boys are getting plenty of shots in each game, these are shots fired by guys not blessed with good hands, which is most of the team. Who on the Habs is blessed with good hands – Pacioretty? Sometimes he is. Drouin? Hopefully.

Who else, Galchenyuk? The guy who so far in this early season looks like he’d rather be back in his apartment with several lovely young ladies. Maybe he should be somewhere else. Maybe Marc Bergevin should’ve moved him when other GMs still thought he was good.

Chicago’s third goal was a power play marker in the second period with Philip Danault in the box for hooking. A cheap call I thought, but whatever, Montreal was toast, because they only score once a game and that had already happened back in the first.

Next up for the Habs is a Saturday night tilt at the Bell against the Leafs. The Leafs, who score more goals in one game than Montreal does in four.

This morning on Sportsnet Hockey Central, host Daren Millard blurted out like a 12-year old,”Do you think the Leafs are becoming the Oilers of the 1980s”? I almost choked on my 7 a.m Labatts Blue.

The 1980s Oilers are considered one of the NHL’s greatest-ever teams. Gretzky, Messier, Coffey, Anderson, Kurri. The Leafs, I’m pretty sure, aren’t quite the 80s Oilers.

The Leafs-media love-in is causing a whole new wave of Leafs fans. Refugees are pouring in, turning on their TVs, and hearing how fantastic the team in Toronto is from groupies like Millard.  So they become fans even though they don’t know the difference between a puck and Auston Mathews’ used jock strap.

Speaking of Mathews, here’s a photo of him and his teammates today doing some dryland exercises at their training facility.

And now – for some post game bonus coverage of action on the water. The seas were angry that day, my friends.

We were at a restaurant outside of St. Petersburg, Russia, on the banks of the Gulf of Finland, where I went fishing at a small adjacent pond and caught a large trout.

Then the folks in the kitchen cooked it up and we ate it.

 

Gomer’s Good Gig

There’s some mighty fine jobs in this big old world of ours. Playboy photographer comes to mind. George Clooney seems to have a good thing going. Hugh Hefner has had the best job in the world for about 50 years. Being in the Rolling Stones sounds like fun.
 
Scott Gomez has a great job too. Take the puck and skate like mad up the middle, then either pass it off, dump it in, or lose it to the opposition. All for eight million dollars a season.
 
Last year he passed it off, dumped it in, and lost it to the opposition over a period of 97 regular season and playoff games, grabbing 73 points in the process, which works out to $109,589 a point. Each measly point more than a hundred g’s.
 
That’s a good job.
 
I saw Scott Gomez play when he was a star forward for the South Surrey Eagles of the Tier 2 junior British Columbia Hockey League in the late 1990’s. The Eagles came to Powell River to take on the Powell River Kings and two things stand out from this Gomez experience – a group of fans heckled him so much early on he went over and started yelling at them, which of course made them heckle even more. And at about the five minute mark of the first period, Gomez got into a fight and was thrown out of the game.
 
But I did see him take the puck a couple of times, skate like mad up the middle, pass it off, dump it in, and lose it to the opposition.
 
But at that time, he was doing it for about ten bucks a point, not $109, 589.