Sex And Drugs And Rock And Roll. Or Reading This Blog. Tough Choice

There’s lots of reasons why I hate long holiday weekends.

 

Instead of reading this blog, you’re peeing in some bacteria-infested lake with a slimy bottom, or sitting on a porch of a cottage, swatting mosquitos and black flies and looking at your watch.

 

It’s your fault that we’re having trouble with gobal warming. You and your fancy cars and ATV’s, bombing around, burning gas that’s becoming more expensive than a Georges Vezina rookie card, just so you can get away for awhile and throw a frisbee around.

 

How do you expect to learn about the Rocket and Mats Sundin and Tom Kostopoulos and the rest when you’re half drunk in the bush, playing crib and ogling the chicks in bikinis when your wife or girlfriend are bent over the fire checking the corn on a cob?

 

If you stayed home and did nothing, time would go slower for you and your long weekend would be even longer. But no, you choose to fight long lines of traffic, long lines into the beer store, and burn precious gas as time flies by. And by the time you reach your beach, cabin, cottage, fishing creek, the weekend’s half over and pretty soon you’ll be burning more gas as you stop and start along the highway going home, usually while nursing a hangover and thinking that you have to get up early tomorrow and go to work.

 

After a few hours in the wilderness, don’t you realize how much you stink with body odour?

 

If you’re a young person in your late teens, early twenties, you’re probably thinking that after buying the perfect bathing suit, the coolest sunglasses, the flip flops, the tanning lotions, and the ipods, you’re going to be partying like crazy and end up getting laid. But before you know it, you’re puking, you can’t find your false teeth, and that chick you wanted to get to know better bolted like a deer after you started making amazonian whoops at the top of your lungs while telling everyone you have to go take a dump.

 

What’s wrong with a nice quiet evening at home. You turn on some soft blues, pour some wine, light some candles, and settle down to some joyous Kane blog reading?

 

Who needs long weekends? Canoe rental places do. Beer stores do. Mosquitos do. I don’t.

 

And you don’t either if you really think about it. But don’t worry. If you absolutely need to spend all that coin on gas and beer and new shades, and all that time going to and from for a few smelly hours of frisbee, then go ahead. No one will stop you.

 

Just remember this. You’re missing good blog stuff.

 

But I’ll be here when you get back. 

 

 

One thought on “Sex And Drugs And Rock And Roll. Or Reading This Blog. Tough Choice”

  1. DK,

    I can’t afford to go to a cottage but if I could, I would. I luuuv it when I’ve got more money than brains … hehe, doesn’t take much.

    Got a kick outta your line, “If you stayed home and did nothing, time would go slower for you and your long weekend would be even longer.” Reminds me of a character in what I think is the best absurdist novel of the last century if not all-time, Catch 22. There’s a character in it, McWatt … I think? .. who is committed to being/making himself as bored as he possibly can so that time would go slower and he would therefore live longer. Good plan, too bad his demise was untimely.

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