Rumblings And Bumblings

Twice in the past week I’ve heard somewhere that it’s entirely possible the NHL in 2012 could go through another lockout and there could be no hockey for a season like we endured in 2004-05 – Lockout.

So twice in one week hearing about this means some rumblings have rumbled and as we move closer to the fall of 2012 the rumblings will become thunderous farts.

So I ask you – What does a hockey blogger blog about for an entire season when no hockey is played?

I’ve got some time to prepare for the worst, and I’m thinking I might do a Dear Abby-type thing.

“Dear Kane. My wife has left me for another man. What should I do?” Signed – Miserable

Dear Miserable. Buy hookers with the extra money you’re going to have.

There was a lot I didn’t understand;  Cost certainty, revenue sharing, Gary Bettman’s smile. I’m just a chump who likes hard hits and pretty goals, and I would have pushed both sides over the Grand Canyon. I cringed when I saw Bob Goodenough and Trevor Linden and player reps say they were going to stand firm and not give in, and I suppose I wondered how much hitmen cost when I saw Bill Daly and Gary Bettman on the other side saying the whole thing was simply impossible and the league was closing down.

I’m not ready for another one of these. So I’m saying now to these people, get your shit together and make sure this doesn’t happen. You almost lost me and thousands of others, and next time we might not be back.

And I don’t want to have to do a Dear Abby blog.

I know one of the reasons I stayed a fan was because I thought salaries might start to become less outrageous. That’s what I thought was the meat of the whole mess, and then I see $100 million contracts being thrown around, and the lockout did what?

Don’t be stupid, NHL players and owners. Fix it or you’ll hang yourself.

If you want to read more on this depressing subject of no hockey in 2012, just click this – Is it too soon to worry about another lockout

22 thoughts on “Rumblings And Bumblings”

  1. they lost me the last time, actually they lost me before that but the last pile of shit sealed it. the only reason i’m paying any attention now is because of this blog and the people who contribute. truth be known i hate the nhl . i just like the habs. with gary bettman’s bullshit if it gets to stupid for me i can drop out again, unlike having no choice as is the case in ontario with dolton maguilty………….. unfortunately dennis i will not be responding to your dr. kane column altho judging by your sample you would have some excellent advice. perhaps i could serve as an advisor for the more embarrassing questions.

  2. Dennis, let’s hope some sense prevails. Another lockout would be a disaster. Maybe I’m in the minority, but seeing what the majority of NHL players get paid and the skill involved, they are a bargain compared to other sports.

    Google Fortune magazine and see what teams are worth. Great if you’re the owner.

    Anyway, please no lockout hockey Gods!

    Dennis, I think you should do a Dear Dennis blog say, once a week. You have a knack for it!

  3. If the NHL does a repeat of 04/05, I suggest we do the following:

    Take the Stanley Cup back from the NHL as it does not belong to Bettman and bring it back to Canada where it will be awarded to the best Canadian team.

    Start a new Canadian league.

    We could call it the KHL – Kane Hockey League. I know KHL is taken, but this will be the REAL KHL with Dennis Kane as the commissioner.

    Bring back real hockey for real people and put the NHL out of business.

    Originally, Lord Stanley intended that the Cup should be awarded to the top amateur hockey team in Canada, until the NHL became the trustee in 1926 after the several Canadian leagues and finally the WHL (Western Hockey League) folded.

    Remember this? (From Wikipedia)….

    …a labour dispute between the NHL’s owners and the NHL Players Association (the union that represents the players) led to the cancellation of the 2004–05 season. As a result, no Cup champion was crowned for the first time since the flu pandemic in 1919. The lockout was controversial among many fans, who questioned whether the NHL had exclusive control over the Cup. A website known as (since closed) was launched, asking fans to write to the Cup trustees and urge them to return to the original Challenge Cup format. Adrienne Clarkson, then Governor General of Canada, alternately proposed that the Cup be presented to the top women’s hockey team in lieu of the NHL season. This idea was so unpopular that the Clarkson Cup was created instead. Meanwhile, a group in Ontario, also known as the “Wednesday Nighters”, filed an application with the Ontario Superior Court, claiming that the Cup trustees had overstepped their bounds in signing the 1947 agreement with the NHL, and therefore must award the trophy regardless of the lockout.[37]

    On February 7, 2006, a settlement was reached in which the trophy could be awarded to non-NHL teams should the league not operate for a season. The dispute lasted so long that, by the time it was settled, the NHL had resumed operating for the 2005–06 season, and the Stanley Cup went unclaimed for the 2004–05 season.

  4. Dear Dennis – I’m worried that there will be another NHL lockout that will cause me to stop watching my beloved Habs, like I did during the last lockout. Now that my Habs addiction is back full bore, I’m afraid I might go completely gonzo and do something crazy like kneecap Bettman and bitchslap Kovulchuk and Lamoriello. Do you have any advice to help me overcome these angry, violent thoughts? Also, I’m in love with Gaston. Sincerely, Tyg – P.S. I think Danno has a fabulous idea with the Real KHL, and most especially with taking our Cup back!

  5. Dear DK

    For some time now I have had a big crush on two guys, Jaro and Carey. I loved them both but for different reasons.
    I have to admit I really enjoyed playing them up against one other so they would compete to win my heart.
    Sometimes they would get upset with me about it. Especially Carey who wanted so badly to be my number one.
    This spring, I have found Jaro to being exceptionally exciting and a much better performer. My head was in a whirl…
    Then, just as our romance became red hot I suddenly found out he’s leaving town. I’ll never see Jaro again, except when he comes by to Montreal to visit. But he told me he’s with someone else now.
    I still have Carey but I can’t help feeling heartbroken about losing Jaro.
    I’ll never forget the love we shared this spring and I’ve really got the blues over Jaro’s sudden departure. Big time.


    Tormented and Blue

  6. Dear Tyg,
    Kneecapping Bettman and bitchslapping Kovalchuk and Lamoriello aren’t angry and violent things. These are peace-loving and natural acts. Mother Teresa would have liked to do these to them. Kneecapping and bitchslapping Gaston is the better way to go. Make him squeal. But if you’re feeling bad, drink some “Really Freaking Strong Kane’s Beer.You’ll feel much better if you’re not dead or blind soon after.

  7. Danno, I like this. Our own league. This will be fine as long as the Habs get preferential treatment.

  8. They do have a death wish, Mike. The NHL is more corrrupt than people know. It’s always been about money and nothing more. And now, unlike the past, the players are part of the greed.

  9. Dear Tormented and Blue,
    Carey will make you forget Jaro ever existed. Him and some Kane beer. And you should forget about love. It’s overrated. Go with the one with the most money. You have a big heart but you need a bigger wallet.

  10. I don’t think it’s going to be a lockout this time around Dennis. I think it’ll probably be a players’ strike, especially if Fehr is involved. He orchestrated the MLBs player strike that led to the demise of the Expos, and has said in the past that he is looking forward to coming out of retirement to battle a major sports league one last time.

  11. Thanks, Jesse. Either way I don’t understand it. Once was bad enough, twice would be insane. I suppose we’re going to hear more and more in the future. How depressing.

  12. They came close to losing me the last time, Hobo, and they’ll come a lot closer if they do it again. To me it’s unforgivable. I’m a lot like you too, I don’t really care much about what’s going on around the league. It’s just the Habs.

  13. Hey Dennis, Well wouldn’t that be a pain in the ass?I didn’t agree with it the first time and would be tottaly against it if it were to happen again.I can’t see where this would be the for the betterment of hockey,which of course it wouldn’t be.You know ,as Hobo has said,they lost him with the first lockout,they really pissed me off as well.I think if hey were to go at this again it may be the end of the nhl.
    I think you may be able to start a blog for old and displaced ferry workers,counceling them how to get through life after their working days are done.Titles for your new blog?When ferries rest,What to do if you are no longer afloat,How to prop yourself up after your rudder runs aground,when to come to port when your the star on board.You can use any one of these Dennis,no charge buddy.

  14. Geez, thanks, Derry. I’m all choked up. “How to prop yourself up when your rudder runs aground.” I don’t know what to say.

  15. And Danno, as commissioner of the new league, I’ll have a lot more jobs to offer everybody. But I remain worried that I won’t be Habs owner.

  16. Dear Dennis,
    Why do the best ladies go for the worst guys? The smarter she is the stupider her choice. Gaston, the biggest jerk of all, gets the quality in quantity. What’s his secret?
    – Jealous

  17. Dear Christopher.
    It’s hormonal. No one has ever understood the chemistry make up of women. Countless books have been written with no last chapter, great minds haven’t been able to find answers. Women are more complicated than all the complicated things in the world. Even women don’t know why this is. Not even Oprah. All we can do is grit our teeth and put up with it. And Gaston? He makes me sick.

  18. Dennis (and Christopher), Tyg and I can confirm our hots for Gaston because women ALWAYS go for the bad boys.

    Love my woodies.

  19. Dennis, that’s why you are happily married. The ladies love the bad boys. Keeps us on our toes.

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