My dad, who’s 88 years old, says very soon the Montreal Canadiens will wake up and start to play. How can you argue with an 88 year old?
Apparently Sergei Kostitsyn is on his way back after purgatory in Hamilton. This is good, because as bad as Sergei looked before he was sent down, he can’t look any worse than what we saw from everyone against Toronto. It’s been years since I saw such a dismal display by the Habs, especially in the first half of the game. Only Maxim Lapierre showed up. They could make a movie called ‘Dead Players Skating.’
And then there’s Sandy.
I work with Sandy, whose comments you might see from time to time here. She’s a Canucks fan and we have a perennial five dollar bet on who will have the most points at the end of the year, Montreal or Vancouver. As it stands now, the Canucks are leading with 85 points to Montreal’s 81. Trust me, it would really suck if I have to listen to Sandy gloat. C’mon Habs, start winning – for yourself, for your fans, for the city, for the universe, and so Sandy will lose.
I have three ideas to make millions, two of which I haven’t told anyone before, and one I’ve been thinking about since the 1970’s and which I’ve told several people. None of these people, however, have gotten overly-excited about this idea. In fact, they didn’t get excited at all. Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m never going to do anything about my ideas, so I’ve decided to share them with you today. If you can make millions from any of them, great. Just buy me a beer.
Idea number one: Inventing a toaster that can make toast in under 15 seconds.
Idea number two: Inventing shin pads for hockey players that automatically tighten nicely to the legs, thus eliminating hockey tape.
Idea number three; This is the one I’ve been thinking about since the 1970’s. Coloured salt. White salt’s just not good enough. You have no idea how much you just put on your mashed potatoes. So I want to mix several colours – green, red, blue, yellow, etc. all together for nice coloured salt. What’s wrong with that?