Random Notes For A Sunday After The Debacle.

My dad, who’s 88 years old, says very soon the Montreal Canadiens will wake up and start to play. How can you argue with an 88 year old?

Apparently Sergei Kostitsyn is on his way back after purgatory in Hamilton. This is good, because as bad as Sergei looked before he was sent down, he can’t look any worse than what we saw from everyone against Toronto. It’s been years since I saw such a dismal display by the Habs, especially in the first half of the game.  Only Maxim Lapierre showed up. They could make a movie called ‘Dead Players Skating.’

And then there’s Sandy.

I work with Sandy, whose comments you might see from time to time here. She’s a Canucks fan and we have a perennial five dollar bet on who will have the most points at the end of the year, Montreal or Vancouver. As it stands now, the Canucks are leading with 85 points to Montreal’s 81.  Trust me, it would really suck if I have to listen to Sandy gloat. C’mon Habs, start winning – for yourself, for your fans, for the city, for the universe, and so Sandy will lose.

I have three ideas to make millions, two of which I haven’t told anyone before, and one I’ve been thinking about since the 1970’s and which I’ve told several people. None of these people, however, have gotten overly-excited about this idea. In fact, they didn’t get excited at all. Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m never going to do anything about my ideas, so I’ve decided to share them with you today. If you can make millions from any of them, great. Just buy me a beer.

Idea number one: Inventing a toaster that can make toast in under 15 seconds.

Idea number two: Inventing shin pads for hockey players that automatically tighten nicely to the legs, thus eliminating hockey tape.

Idea number three; This is the one I’ve been thinking about since the 1970’s. Coloured salt. White salt’s just not good enough. You have no idea how much you just put on your mashed potatoes. So I want to mix several colours – green, red, blue, yellow, etc. all together for nice coloured salt. What’s wrong with that?

14 thoughts on “Random Notes For A Sunday After The Debacle.”

  1. I like the salt – should be easy enuf to do. But I suggest you lay off the mashed potatoes. They’re addictive, fattening (usually load em up with butter), and they’re acidic which aggravates the joints.

    Don’t use tape for shinpads any more … do they?

    Put your toaster on high and slice your bread thinner.

    The Flames got pasted by SJ earlier in the year promting Keenan to revamp their system – essentially, he stripped it down to the basics – which jumpstarted the Flames who now sit in first. Perhaps this pummeling by the Trawna Mutant Leafs (bud in the autumn, fall in the spring) will prompt us to make the necessary changes.

  2. Jim. They still use tape. And how can I slice bread that’s already sliced?
    And yes, Habs need to be stripped down. Will you be my assistant coach when I’m hired?

  3. Sorry, DK, I’d make a lousy assistant coach or any kind of coach for that matter. But, hey, if you need a stickboy (overpaid, of course, hehehe) …..

    As for the bread, buy it unsliced and get a good sharp bread knife.

    Tape? Seriously? What about velcro?

  4. Nope, they’re still using tape. Jim, what about the team shrink? Interested?
    Sandy – don’t make me come over there.

  5. I’m thinking black or brown salt. It looks more appetizing. As far as the Habs go, I refuse to speculate on them anymore. TSN calls them the “slumping” Canadiens. I think it’s time to call them slumped. They have officially hit the bottom and can’t physically slump any further.

  6. DK, it seems to me our guys are way too shrunk. What they need to do is expand. So, yeah, I’ll be your team …. swell.

  7. By the way, I’d like to get some opinions on who the Habs should bring back next season, free agent-wise. I’m looking at Kostopoulos for sure, and maybe Tanguay could be gotten for less because of his injuries. Also, Komisarek’s second half has brought down his value tremendously. If Bob could sign him in the three-million-per-year range, It will probably be worth it. What do you think?

  8. I would like to see Tanguay back as well. Komesarek for under 5, Koivu if he even wants to come back, and here’s a thought, if Bob is going to talk with each player after the Toronto game then maybe he should tell some of the UFA’s that won’t be around next year to take the rest of the season off, officially not just on their own like some have done. Let the guys that will be there next year start building something now and bring Chips up from Hamilton for crying out loud.

  9. I’d like Tanguay back. But I’m a little pissed with Komisarek right now. He’s been absolutely useless for most of the season. Some all-star. Not even close.

  10. Yeah I know Komesarek has been MIA for a good part of the year or at least since his injury/fight with Lucic. Either he’s still hurt and it affected his brain or Lucic stole his mojo. How else can you explain his play this year? I’d bring him back at a decent price just because there is a chance he will bounce back.

  11. I have some smoked salt at home. It’s black. Great with fish and salads. I’ve also seen pink salt. Supposed to come from the himalayas. Never tasted it.

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