Pierre Kept Money To Spare So He Can ……

Pierre Gauthier has made sure to have some excess money after all was said and done in the contracts department, which means one thing. He’s getting ready to sign me as stick boy.

I’ll go to arbitration if he wants. He can argue that I’m not young enough to have a fresh stick ready for a player when he breaks one. He can tell me I’m not worth the 40 grand I’m demanding because I wasn’t there last year. He can bluntly inform me that he’s known cases of stick boys doing it for free.

But I’m more than just a stick boy like these one-trick ponies. I’ll go to the beer store for players and management. I’ll babysit their kids. I’ll make them Hamburger Helper. I’ll help make the wives comfortable. Because I’m an ex-trucker, players can feel relaxed when I drive them to and from banks, airports, and strip joints. I already have a jacket like Toe Blake’s so there’s no clothing expense. I’ll get a room near the Bell Centre and be on call, uh, several hours a day. I’ll practice grabbing fresh sticks and get my stick-to-player motion down to an exact science. I’ll give advice to Jacques Martin during games.

All this for 40 grand.

The ball’s in your court, Pierre. Just like it was for Sam.

12 thoughts on “Pierre Kept Money To Spare So He Can ……”

  1. Dennis, the first time I read this, it was the wives I thought you were promising to drive to and from the strip club.

  2. Oh, no, liked that insinuation. My biggest problem was that all my subsequent comments went into the gutter.

  3. Chris, maybe it’s my lack of sleep, but I’m still trying to figure out what you mean here. What comments in what gutter? Please excuse me, I’m running on empty.

  4. Maybe it’s just me and my perverted mind once I read about the stick boy taking the wives home from the strip joint and making them comfortable. I think I should go read Four Habs Fans for a while and get it out of my system.

  5. Chris, it’s not just you, it’s me too. The thought of some of those gorgeous wives letting loose at a syrip joint and then the stick boy entering the picture is a fine vision. Very fine. Now I understand.

  6. With such talk, I think Dennis Kane’s blog has somehow been taken over by that evil asshole – Gaston!

    By the way, how’s Jack Schitt doing? Haven’t heard from him/her/it lately…

  7. Danno, when I first read and re-read Christopher’s comment about going to Four Habs Fan, I thought he was deserting me. But the more I thought about it, I’m thinking that he was going to FHF that same night for a change and wasn’t leaving in general. I hope that’s how it is. That being said, though, FHF is great and maybe I shouldn’t blame him.
    When I originally did the video of Gaston’s tour, Jack Schitt was involved and he did a fine job. But the video was too long and couldn’t be uploaded so I had to start again, this time with Gaston and his old lady. Thanks for asking about Schitt. It’s not the first time you’ve inquired about him, you’re the only one, and he and I both thank you.

  8. Dennis, it was all this talk about going to strip joints that got me thinking Gaston had you tied up somewhere and took over your blog.

    Not too many people ask about Jack Schitt because, as you know, most people don’t know Jack Schitt.

  9. Yes thank you Danno, it wasn’t me, it was that pervert asshole Gaston who took over my account. I only have the purest most wholesome thoughts.

  10. pierre is intimidated by the prospect of having the future owner be the club’s stickboy. having you in camp can only hasten the inevitable coup……….much like allowing the ememy, a bruins fan (diane) be part of your upper management team, or lower management team for that matter. you are signing your own death papers……. as for sam, he had no excuse.

  11. Hobo, I just feel in my heart that I’d be an outstanding stick boy. I don’t understand the hold up with this. And Kovalev and Sopel are going to the KHL this year.

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