Not Even Tasty For a Cougar?

In my last post, I said I was leaving the game between the Hawks and Flyers and going for a long walk to the Townsite in Powell River to see my friend Rob pound the skins with the Blues Busters.

I decided to take the shortcut that winds its way along the water, down a forest path for a mile or two, and it was getting dark. But dark wasn’t the problem. Cougars had been spotted on this path often, and an attack or two had even taken place.

But I didn’t care. I’d just smack him with my pocket watch. 

In the end, I walked the walk, which took about 45 minutes, and no cougars showed up and I hope you weren’t expecting one to. Although it would’ve made a heck of a good story. Instead, you got a lousy anti-climatic ending.

I did, however, pass by this guy, and I said to him, ” Hi, I guess there’s no cougars tonight,” and he smiled, said no, and walked by.

Then he said, “Too old and leathery to be bothered.” I guess he meant me.

What the f….??????

My face happens to be not leathery and is smooth as a baby’s bottom. And I’m not old. I wasn’t even born when the war was on.

Epilogue:

I don’t know the guy on the path but I’ve seen him around many times, and I actually have two very interesting stories about him.

I was at a music jam at the Moose one afternoon and he was there, and at some point when another band was playing, he got up and went over and adjusted the volume on the soundboard.

The lead singer was so mad, he stopped the music, said to the guy over the microphone that if he ever touched the volume again he’d break his fingers, and the guy grabbed his guitar case and walked out with a look of shame on his face.

That’s story number one.

Story number two is:

A Russian woman in town who lived over on Texada Island phoned me and told me about a guy who wanted to move to St. Petersburg, Russia with his two adolescent sons, and she wanted me to call him and drive some sense into him because he had no idea what he was in for.

This was the same guy who got booted out of the Moose.

I said to him, “do you you have any idea how difficult it’s going to be for you, not just day to day, but mentally too?” And he said, “I just want to meet artists and the ballet dancers from the Mariinsky Theatre, and give my sons culture they can’t find here.”

I’m assuming he never went, or if he did, he wasn’t there long. Because I saw him tonight on the path, with no cougars in sight.

8 thoughts on “Not Even Tasty For a Cougar?”

  1. Hey Dennis, Great cougar story,not to bad at all.I would say that this fellow has a bit of a personality problem,or drinks alot,either iether he would be a little more comfortable getting some help. Now, I’m not to sure just what type of cougars you are speaking of,he may of been describing the female over 40 cougars,and saying that you were to old for that ,as they only lookout for the younger 20’s crowd.It is hard to say exactly what he meant by it all Dennis,nothing to take offence to .The other type of cougars dont discriminate over age and the how leathery your skin may be,they will just eat you ,piece by piece.

  2. You’re right, Derry. I wonder if he meant the lady type. Anyway, thanks for that. I want a cougar to eat me and enjoy it just as much as a younger human.

  3. Derry, I didn’t know that. But if I’m lost and starving and on my last legs, I’m going to kill and eat one for sure.

  4. Cougar meat is really similiar to pork in colour and texture. The 4-legged variety, that is…
    Walking around in the Townsite? Dennis-now you’re talking cougars…both my husband and I have been hit on in that neighbourhood!

  5. DK, are you sure you wer’nt looking for some of the stars of Cougar Town?
    Inquiring minds need to know your real objective!
    Cheers from the East!!!!

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