Make My Day And Stay

Ilya Kovalchuk, Alex Ovechkin, Sergei Kostitsyn, Pavel Datsyuk and a few other Russians are now saying they might just stay in Russia. Are you feeling bad about this?

Nobody forced these guys to come to North America, and when they did come, the vaults were opened and they dove in head first, drooling and panting. Now they’re saying that if some kind of pay cut happens from this ridiculous lockout, they just might stay home.

Please stay home. We really don’t want you. You only play for the money anyway. The Stanley Cup isn’t at the top of your list, money is. After that it’s the Olympics and World Championships. Then some borscht and black bread. The Stanley Cup comes in fifth, after money, Olympics, the Worlds, and borscht and black bread. Ungrateful swine, the bunch of you. North American hockey will survive without you, thank you very much.

Is this the end result of the wonderful ’72 Summit Series, Canada Cups, and the New Year’s Eve Habs-Red Army clash in 1975, all of which caused closed doors to slowly open, and years later you marched in to a handshake and wheelbarrows packed full of Amerikanski dollars? What a sad legacy to such historic hockey meetings. Maybe the Summit Series and Canada Cups should never have happened and we wouldn’t have ever had to hear the sorry names of Kostitsyn and Kovalchuk and the others.

Even my wife, who is from Russia, says they’re only here for the money, that they’re not like Canadians, that they don’t have hockey in their blood. In fact, she’s not even surprised when I tell her these guys are threatening to stay home. “Let ’em” she says. “They’re a different bunch.” And this from a Russian lady who loves her homeland but has these dudes all figured out.

You took jobs from players here and now you’re taking jobs from players there. And Sergei Kostitsyn, it was good riddance when you left Montreal, and now I hope I can say it again if your promise to leave this continent permanently comes to pass. Kovalchuk? Your 15-year, 100 million dollar deal with New Jersey might not cut the mustard if you have to give up some? And did you really have to take the captaincy for SKA in St. Petersburg? Wasn’t the old captain there doing his job? Ovechkin? You’re overrated, teams have figured you out, and now you sulk like a Russian baby. And your acting in commercials is much better suited for Russian TV, believe me. Frankly, I find you more than slightly goofy.

Please stay in the old country. All of you. Make Russian fans happy. And while you’re making them happy, you’ll be making me and many others happy too.

10 thoughts on “Make My Day And Stay”

  1. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Totally agree with you, stay the hell home! Maybe more jobs for our boys.

  2. If they do stay I am sure this would make Don Cherry very happy.

    I think they’re full of shit. It would take one hell of a severe pay cut to make them stay there and if this cut were to happen I am sure the owners would find some way to make up for that lost income. So let’s say they make 6 million a year and that’s slashed to “only” three. The extra three million will come from “performance bonuses” (e.g. showing up more than once a week, actually trying to score instead of just moving their stick slightly, not bad-mouthing North America during the season, etc).

    The owners would be scared to lose these guys because they bring in people so they’ll find a way to make up for it…then down the road in our next lockout this can be another issue that needs to be fixed.

    The K brothers are a whole other thing. We knew the score when it came to them already but the icing on the cake was Sergei and that other clown that Nashville went through all this trouble to get going out partying during the playoffs. Real class.

    I still like Ovechkin though. I’d love to see him a Habs jersey. It’d probably be a colossal disaster of course but it’d be nice to see for a week or two.

  3. Hey Dennis,K.H.L…Kome home losers…sorry,these guys are like you have said,just here for the bucks. Le Coupe de ‘Stanley doesn’t mean the same thing as it does to us,they were living in communism for so long ,when they got out they became terrific capitalists.Give some real hockey players a chance from North America,never mind pampering these guys who wear baby powder in their shorts.

  4. Once again, it is the NHL owners fault for consistently signing and paying these guys so much. They are the way they are and we should not expect them to have the same mind set as North American players with regards to the Stanley Cup etc. ..They should be treated accordingly….Who can blame them for dissing the NHL anyway.

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