It’s A Waiting Game With Mats, So The Tour Continues

I don’t see what the problem is. Is this a dilemma for Mats Sundin? All Bob Gainey is asking the guy is to move a couple of hundred miles down the road, accept about eight million dollars, be on an exciting, vibrant team that has a real shot at winning the Stanley Cup, be wined and dined, be the new poster boy for a storied franchise, and extend his career instead of playing another dismal year in Toronto, or moving back to Sweden to spend long days in the kitchen rolling swedish meatballs.



 While the rest of us wait.


I don’t see the problem.


Gaston noticed I’m irritable about all this waiting, so suggested we do another Powell River tour. He’s right when he says that readers still haven’t seen the inner workings and beauty of the town, so off we went. “Don’t worry about Sundin,” he said to me gently. “If he doesn’t sign, we can always go after Sean Avery.”


I’m sorry but Gaston almost became a ten year supply of toothpicks after that remark.


But Gaston is right about showing some inner Powell River, and because I thought I’d be nice after nearly murdering the little bugger, I let him decide on just what photos would be used. So don’t blame me if you’re disappointed, it wasn’t my idea.



Maybe you noticed in a previous picture that Gaston has a little ’56 Chevy. That Chevy used to be a mailbox. Now his idea is to buy this old pickup truck and turn it into his own RV camper.

But forget about the old stuff, I told him. Let’s show that Powell River is a modern, exciting place, and has everything that other places have. But I let Gaston decide on the next two photos and I have to tell you, he’s starting to piss me off again.




7 thoughts on “It’s A Waiting Game With Mats, So The Tour Continues”

  1. DK,

    Bertuzzi is up for grabs. Why? Obviously, he is still handicapped by the on-going assault on him by the hypocritical media so he needs therapy which, hey, DK, you are in a position to supply. Simply give Lawrence to him for a good pounding or two or three and I’m sure his self-confidence and willingness to `play’ the game will return and we will have the power forward we so desperately need. I’m sure that the Habs, out of gratitude for your good services, will reward you by permitting you to pick up the pucks after the pre-game warm-up.

    Sundin is waffling for reasons that may not be good but they are understandable. First, what else can any reasonable person expect from somebody who has been mired in the Leafs org for 13 yrs? Imagine the damage that the poor dood has suffered? the abuse? the repression? he can’t possibly have been immune to the effects of the profound unresolved tensions that permeate the Leafs individual and collective persona? I mean, the trauma must be severe inasmuch as such a prolonged and intimate association with the Leafs can only have exacerbated childhood anxieties that clearly impact on his decision-making capacity, that inhibit him from acting. In other words, anxiety has frozen poor Mats and, until he confronts his inner deomons and slays the Maple Leaf Monster that lurks under his bed or in his duffel bag or wherever, he will remain, hehe, on ice – in other words, he will play only where is not certain, might even pull a Selanne/Niedermayer.

    Speaking of trauma, hmmm, I must confess that your latest abuse of poor Gaston has now convinced me that Mike’s theory that Gaston is in fact Lawrence in disguise while interesting and thought provoking and not without merit, is bottom line not true. Clearly, Dk, like Mats you have an ego-superego conflict raging and poor Gaston is the external manifestation of the tensions that drive it. Always, it is bad Gaston this, bad Gaston that even though he has done nothing to deserve your opprobrium. YOU chose which places to visit in the above mentioned trip; YOU chose to supply Gaston with an unlimited supply of nachos and beer; YOU chose to abandon him to the machinations of whom? a Powell River demon waitress? the spritzer-sippin’ Trevor-luvin’ twinkle-toed dandified canucklhead Lawrence? Then YOU accuse him of being bad. Hmmm, maybe it wasn’t the waitress or Lawrence, maybe they are merely decoys cleverly planted in our minds by the real culprit, by …. YOU! Yes, DK, I suspect that your piss-offedness re Gaston are expressions of YOUR anxiety/fear/guilt that derive from unresolved tensions incurred during your formative years. And note, that YOUR (not Gaston’s who seems remarkably tolerant and patient of YOU) piss-offedness is clearly triggered by specific stimuli, with `verboten’ objects of pleasure (nachos & beer), illicit sexual desires (the waitress, the lingerie), thrill-seeking (the hot truck, low-brow Wal-Mart shopping experience) which means YOU have projected into poor Gaston all YOUR fears of correction/punishment by YOUR parents. Yes, DK, I am sorry to say that all the evidence points to the conclusion that YOU have turned Gaston into an object of YOUR underlying disaffection/resentment of parental (all?) authority, he is YOUR unwitting puppet to be jerked about at YOUR callous whim whenever YOU feel threatened and, in this case the cause of YOUR anxiety is evident: the fear of rejection, of the loss of the `object’ of YOUR affections and esteem, the fear that Sundin will not become a Hab which in and of itself is not sufficient to drive YOU to setting up Gaston so you can justify dumping on him, no, it is merely the symptom of the deeper fear that the Habs (YOU personified?) will not win the Cup and therefore YOU will once again be defeated and thus obliged to submit to an external, often cruel and arbitrary, will. Sigh, poor Gaston, to be subjected to the ravages of such a conflicted psyche, such a tormented soul, to be treated as just so much wood to fuel this bonfire of uber-angst must be incredibly stressful so it’s no wonder that he turns to beer and nachos for relief from YOUR unrelenting unjustified unreasonable unconscionable (hehe) albeit understandable `piss-offedness’.

  2. Gaston has been a big disappointmet to me. He never married,he talks with his mouth full, farts in front of ladies, FORCED ME to take his picture in the Wal Mart lingerie department, drinks too much, never offers to pay, likes heavy metal, can’t save money, never changes his Habs sweater and is starting to smell, watches sexy shows on Showcase when he thinks I’m in the other room, and in general, I think my cat is better behaved. The Russian word for people like him is “beastia” which says it all.
    I’m thinking of putting him out on the street. He embarrasses me.

  3. DK,

    Ahh, Dk, most eloquent but, nevertheless, YOU are clearly in DENIAL! How convenient that all these alleged faults attributed by YOU to Gaston can not be verified. Indeed, they fly in the face of facts that YOU have provided to the interested (and concerned – for G’s continued well-being) reader that unequivocally establish the untruth of what YOU so loudly proclaim. It’s called Character Assassination and poor Gaston is the victim of this dastardly campaign to smear him in order to camouflage the deep-rooted anxieties of his supposed buddy … or is it, puppet master?

  4. la P,

    Only one positive thing about Avery and that is his scorn for the Leafs and their fans. Hell, we got rid of Claude Lemieux who wasn’t even half the cheap-shot artist Avery is. Nope, we neither want nor need players of his ilk. And sorry, la P, having a bullet-shaped head packed with vulcanized rubber may qualify Avery as `cute’ to punkettes, but to true hockey fans it means he is a brainless burden. Maybe your `cute’ Pompominville and his punky pals might want him … hmm, does Avery ride a mortorcycle? wear leather? listen to the Village People?

    I see that you’ve finally heeded my advice and are no longer inflicting those dopey pics on us. Now, if you just follow my other instructions you’ll be a smashing success – lots of punkettes out there who luuuv brainless bullet heads – & maybe I’ll finally get the stuff you owe me.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *