Rumour has it that Calgary Flames mascot Harvey the Hound, along with Snoopy, Goofy, Benji, Spuds MacKenzie, Huckleberry Hound, Marmaduke, Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, and all of the hounds of the Baskervilles have banded together and decided to boycott the city of Philadelphia because Michael Vick will be living there. “We never went there anyway because of Bobby Clarke,” admitted Harvey, “but the Vick thing takes it to a whole new level.”
And Lassie’s grandson, Lassie, is considering making a bid for the Phoenix Coyotes. Lassie the 4th has inherited millions from his famous movie star grandfather, and is interested in becoming an owner. Gary Bettman, in an official statement, welcomed the new offer. “I’d rather have a dog as an owner than Jim Balsillie,” stated the commissioner.
I heard this on the radio the other day, and I can relate. “I only went to school when the pool hall was full.”
This is a sad and true story; For months on, when I went into the doctor’s office, I’d talk to the receptionist. “Hi Kim” I’d say. Morning Kim, how ya doing, Kim, bye Kim, thanks Kim, nice day Kim. Then I found out her name is Michelle.
Yes it’s true. I almost gave Jean Beliveau a heart attack. I was at the Montreal Forum a long time ago, picking up a signed stick they’d given me, and at the bottom of the stairs somewhere in the building I stood silently and wrapped the stick up to protect the signatures. Suddenly, at the top of the stairs, the door opened and there was Jean Beliveau. All he saw was me wrapping some long thing up, like a gun. I THINK HE THOUGHT I HAD A GUN. Beliveau stopped in his tracks, the pleasant look vanished from his face, and he didn’t know whether to come down the stairs or not. “Hi Mr. Beliveau,” I said. “Just wrapping a stick.” And with that, he breathed a sigh of relief and came down. He reached for his pen to sign the stick, but I guess I had a case of the dozies, plus I was as surprised as he was, and I didn’t unwrap it for him. So he just put his pen back in his pocket, went out and I watched him go across the street and into the Texas Tavern for lunch. I still feel bad about this.