If You Can’t Lick ‘Em In The Alley…….

When Steve Ott was growing up in Summerside, PEI, he would hear it all the time. “Steve,” they would say, “you can lick anybody.” And with great confidence, young Ott went out into the world and did just that.

Jeff Halpern was first given a tongue-lashing by Ott, and eventually a solid licking. “I wouldn’t do it on first meeting,” explained Ott, “but seeing that this was our fifth date, I felt I’d make the move. I’m a gentleman that way.”

Ott’s wife is now filing for divorce. “He never licked me like that,” she complained. “What’s Halpern got that I don’t have?”

“I just got the urge,” says Ott. “I’ve tried licking my teammates’ visors, but somehow it’s not the same. I guess it’s the forbidden fruit thing.”





17 thoughts on “If You Can’t Lick ‘Em In The Alley…….”

  1. Dennis, there are reports that Leafs forward Mikhail Grabiteski is out with a stomach ailment and is a doubtful start for Saturday’s game against the Habs.

    Maybe he should cook his meat before he eats it.

    You will recall Grabovski was the player who bit Max Pacioretty in the arm during a fight on February 9th in a game the Habs lost to the Leafs by a score of 6-0.

    It appears the Leafs will also be without Joffrey Lupul who is recovering from a concussion.

    Here is the Toronto Star’s report on the cannibal’s tummy problems and Lupul’s concussion:


    The bite:

  2. Yeah, what was with that? I can’t help thinking that maybe he was further from Halpern then it would appear, maybe a strange angle from the camera.

  3. It’s a head scratcher , Marjo. Never seen it before and will probably never see it again. I’d love to hear him explain this.

  4. Hey Dennis, It’s just to bad that Halpern’s faceshield wasn’t full of dry ice and Ott’s tongue got stuck to it, probably have to follow Halpern around the ice for awhile.

  5. I actually don’t know what you all are talking about. Did Ott actually lick someone? Hilarious. And nice line, Danno. You do realise that (Oncles de Sept-Iles aside) nephews will be rolling their eyes, don’t you?


  6. Sorry, HDS. I thought because you're in Toronto you might be caught up in the "What's wrong with the Jays" panic that's taken over the city.

  7. This morning the local Ottawa sports radio guys (ex NHLer Jason York is one) were suggesting that it was to confuse Halpern for the shift, that after the puck was dropped he’d still be standing there wondering WTF giving Buffalo a chance to do something.
    They were also saying that Shanahan should give him a call and tell him to not embarrass himself, the Sabres and the league like that.

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