If We Can’t See Cleavage, Why Bother?

The producers took away my whole reason for watching the NHL Awards show.

Was there one shot in the entire hour and a half of the audience? We listened to self-described comedian Jay Mohr try to be funny, and when the nominees were read in each category, there were the three in the running standing off to the side waiting for the winner to be announced. We didn’t see proud mom and pop, or lovely wife with tears running down her face, or wide-eyed children watching their famous father, or best of all, seeing wives and girlfriends’ cleavage.

No cleavage. No tears. Just Jay Mohr.

Who the f…… is Jay Mohr? A couple of seasons on Saturday Night Live and a dozen small roles in movies that go straight to dvd? There they go again, bringing in the C-list talent for what’s supposed to be an A-list night.

If we’re not going to see the friends and family in the audience beaming with pride along with several girlfriends who look like they should be walking the Strip asking if you’re looking for a good time, then what’s the sense of this night? If it’s going to be like that, just make it a banquet setting with a head table and Jim Ralph and Dennis Hull being master of ceremonies. 

It’s all we need. We can read about who won at any time.

And speaking of who won:

Henrik Sedin takes home the Hart, Tyler Myers the Calder, Pavel Datsyuk the Selke, and Jose Theodore, in an emotional moment, was presented the Bill Masterton, awarded for perseverance and dedication to hockey, usually after something tough has happened to you. Theodore and his wife had lost their baby last year and that’s as tough as you’re going to get.

Other winners were Ryan Miller (Vezina), Dave Tippett (Jack Adams), Shane Doan (King Clancy), and Martin St. Louis (Lady Byng). 

Highlights?

Pavel Datsuk thanked his team for paying him, which is probably the best line I’ve heard in years from this show. 

Alex Ovechkin, who took home the Ted Lindsay Award voted on by his peers, began his speech, than the producers thought he was finished and brought out another presenter. But Ovie wasn’t finished, he had no idea what was going on, and he just kept babbling away while the other guy stood out there and politely waited. Another sterling moment in the history of the NHL Awards show wanting to look like the Academy Awards. 

Just make it a banquet setting and be done with it.

8 thoughts on “If We Can’t See Cleavage, Why Bother?”

  1. Thanks for the recap on who won what. In all honesty, I don’t care outside of the snark potential. There were no Habs nominated, and since I have a hate on for Ovechkin and Crosby, and that’s all the NHL ever rams down my throat, there’s no way I’m watching this award show.

    If you get the eye candy, there should at least be a better looking and better entertaining host for the ladies to drool over other than an overrated, unattractive, self-proclaimed comedian. Toothless hockey players suddenly washed, shaved and thrust into an expensive shiny suit don’t count. I’m thinking Russell Crowe should host these awards. Heck, with his temper there might even be fisticuffs and shirtlessness and blood – all the things that appeal to vibrant heterosexual women like me.

    So the Habs qualify Sergei but not Pouliot? I smell a new contract. No way PG keeps the dressing room troublemaker with the attitude and lets the big forward with the almighty potential walk away. I may not like PG, but I don’t think he’s stupid either.

  2. Tyg, they offered Sergei something but not yet Dominic Moore who was absolutely fine in a Habs jersey. This is going to really interesting seeing how it plays out. I may end up not liking PG either but maybe he’s got something up his sleeve. Pierre Houdini. And PS, the Awards show sucked and the Ovechkin blunder was embarrassing.

  3. I think a banquet setting would actually be a great idea for the NHL Awards, since imitating the Oscars and the MTV Awards hasn’t worked out yet. And no, I have no idea why there wasn’t a single shot of the audience the whole time. It would have been a much better show – having the nominees for each trophy just standing next to each other backstage was stupid.

    As usual, summer is short, and by now I thought I’d be ready to deal with whatever happens regarding our free agents. I’m not. I want to keep our RFA’s, Metro, Mara, and Moore. Those last three have done a lot for the team, and I like them as people. They don’t deserve to be carted around from team to team – they should stay here!

  4. Thanks, Rookie. As usual, the awards show was less-than-stellar. In fact, I cringe every year when I watch it. Maybe I should stop watching it. I want Metro, Mara and Moore too. Poor Paul Mara never really got a chance to prover himself. He was out for so long. Metro’s a character player who has helped Montreal, had great power player numbers during the regular season, and it would be nice to see him stay. Moore, geez, I thought he was excellent. I don’t know why he hasn’t gotten an offer and Sergei has. Maybe he’g got big dollar figures in his head and can’t be afforded.

  5. The players can’t be happy about the lack of cleavage. Isn’t the whole point of winning awards is to get rich and famous the point of which is to attract beautiful women. I’m convinced my lack of a Hart trophy is the only reason Salma Hayak isn’t knocking down door.

    Once again Ovechkin showed up just after rolling out of bed wearing last night’s clothes. No shower, shave, comb, or do up his shirt. At least he took the time to zip up.

  6. I think hockey players don’t get the women like the soccer players can. They make way more money, have all their teeth and actually shave before games. Hockey players just walk around with earphones on, carrying coffee or shopping bags while the soccer players wear models, skinny models. Soccer players never lose 7 teeth at a time either.

    Anyways, I digress. Any predictions tomorrow, Dennis? Would be good if we kept Moore but the commentators were saying he will be too expensive for the Habs, maybe $1 – 2 M. It would be nice if we moved Gomez but thats a laugh. Maybe to Boston and we can take Thomas’ $5M off Bruins hands. I always watch the draft, exciting day I hope.

  7. Hi Chris. Ovechkin’s a strange dude. My wife doesn’t like his act at all. She feels he’s an embarrassment to Russians.
    I didn’t think it was possible but the awards show was worse than last year’s. Jay Mohr. Damn. Oh, and before I forget, Salma was saying to me just the other day that you’re a great guy and too bad you live where you do because she hates long-distance relationships. Otherwise………

  8. Mayo, you’re probably right about the soccer chicks. But no wonder. They get to hang out on the French Riviera, are part of the European jet set, while hockey women hang out in Columbus and Newark.
    Here’s what I think. How come players don’t give some money back sometimes? If Gomez gave back 2 or 3 million, his team might improve. How much money does a guy need? Yes, they’re handcuffed here. I also wish I read French better because there’s an article out today about Sergei K. and how he’s (I think) trashing the Habs and saying the Halak move was a mistake etc.

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