Honky Enters The Contest Fray

The good old contest is going reasonably well and it’s just shocking that some people are making fun of those poor Leafs.

Doesn’t Richard Simmons play for the Leafs?

Anyway, keep ’em coming. Just complete the sentence “The Leafs suck so bad….” and you could win a $75 gift certificate at NHL.com that the folks at Pepsi, Lays and Gatorade gave me to give to you for mentioning their Mark Messier contest Bring Home the Cup .

You could even buy a Leafs’ jersey with this money! I’m sure they don’t cost much.

My new examples:

“The Leafs suck so bad, Johnny Bower tells everyone he was just a recording artist (Honky the Christmas Goose) so people won’t know what he really did for living.”

The Leafs suck so bad their groupies wear burqua’s.

The Leafs suck so bad the writers who cover the team have asked to be transferred to the obituary-writing department.

And here’s some shocking examples from people with very few morals:

dishonest john Says:
The Leafs suck so bad when you look up the word vacuum in the dictionary you find a Leaf team picture.

  •  Phil Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad they put Pamela Anderson to shame

    Danno Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad they’re just like my artificial Xmas tree. Back in the basement every year by January.

    Bryan Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad, they can’t even beat ‘em in the bowling alley, let alone on the ice.

    Tony Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad cause…..it’s hockey, not…..boxing!

    jan’scanuckhouse Says: 
    The Leafs suck soooo bad that I have come up with several:
    #7.-that they don’t even know the Stanley Cup has a colour.
    #6.-that Hoover contacted them to inquire about their secret.
    #5.-that they tried lately to trade Luca Caputi for Matt Cooke.
    #4-that the Haitian Embassy has cancelled their season tickets.
    #3-that Stamkos will get another mittfull of pts in TO tonight.
    #2-that even Don Cherry’s new book doesn’t mention them.
    and the #1 reason is that even David Letterman doesn’t have time for them…………….

    Christopher Cordahi Says: 
    Hope this doesn’t get you in trouble with Pepsi.
    The Leafs suck so bad, they deserve a crappy cheer like Eh, O’Leafs Go.

    Derry Says:
    Hey Dennis,The Leafs suck so bad ,they were all kicked out of hicke class.

    Robert Rice Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad, physicists have discovered a black hole forming at their training complex.The Leafs suck so bad, the ECHL has offered them admission into their league.The Leafs suck so bad, the stick boy has demanded a trade.

    Lefty Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad they’re the suckiest sucks who ever sucked.

    Danno Says:
    The Leafs suck so bad that there’s this pal of mine who was this cute little dog who watches all the Leaf games with him on TV. And one night I saw the little dog in a corner of the room crying his eyes out. So I asked my pal “What’s wrong with your dog?” He says, ‘Oh, never mind about that, he does that every time the Leafs suck.” So then I ask him “What does he do when they play great?’ He says, “I don’t know. He’s only nine years old.”And the moral of the story is:Too much truculence inevitably leads to suckulence.

    Mike Williamson Says: 
    DK, I’ll keep this short.
    The Leafs suck,because they are the LEAFS

    Christopher Cordahi Says:

    Ex-Leaf Lee Stempniak says the Leafs suck so bad that being traded to play in an empty building in the desert is a career improvement.

    jan’scanuckhouse Says:

    The Leafs suck so bad that their training camp is actually the set of “The Biggest Loser.”

    Phil Says: 
    The Leafs suck so bad… Why do I even bother? It’s just a waste of breath.

    Diane S. Says:

    Dennis the Leafs suck so bad that their fans are actually movie extras at the games paid by the mgmt. and not fans at all.

    The Leafs suck so bad that puck bunnies are now dust bunnies and not interested because bunnies only like hockey players.

    4 thoughts on “Honky Enters The Contest Fray”

    1. You know,that the Leafs suck sooooo bad that when they all go out for the “celebratory loser dinners”…they go to the closest senior citizen’s home….FOR THE FOOD!!! and just maybe…..one of the seniors will recognize their logo…………oh jan thats bad.

    2. The Leafs suck so bad that they’re just like the Titanic. Everything is fine until they hit the ice.

      The Leafs suck so bad that Toronto’s Red Light District is located behind their own net.

      The Leafs suck so bad; just look at what their name stands for:


      The Leafs suck so bad, if they were an aircraft they would be the Hindenburg.

      The Leafs suck so bad, it’s Saturday night and there are these two prospectors in the extreme north away from all forms of civilization. No TV, radio, telephone or any means of communication. One of them says “Ah crap! The Leafs lost again.” His buddy asks “How do you know that?” The guy replies “Because it’s 10:00 p.m.”

    3. Got another one…

      The Leafs suck so bad that Toronto is to hockey what Jamaica is to bobsledding.

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