Having A Look At The Fans

As you may already know, a recent survey was done listing the top ten sports teams with the most annoying fans. This poll was done by Spike TV, and I have no idea of what Spike TV is, or who decided these are the top ten. But here they are, and I’m including what they say about the two hockey teams involved.

Here’s the list;

10. Oakland Raiders
9. Montreal Canadiens
8. Duke Blue Devils basketball
7. English soccer fans
6. Dallas Cowboys
5. Vancouver Canucks
4. Philadelphia Eagles
3. Boston Red Sox
2. Ohio State Buckeyes
And the big number one?  Chicago Cubs fans.

This is what they say about Canucks fans, who came in at number five:

“It’s remarkable how arrogant the fan base of a team with zero Stanley Cups, no Hall of Fame players, and two homoerotic Swedish twins that seem physically afraid of the playoffs can act. It’s literally mind-boggling! These days, when they’re not too busy demanding trades on local radio shows or reminiscing about that year they almost signed Wayne Gretzky, you can usually find Canucks fans preaching about how hosting Jarome Iginla and the Canadian Olympic team will finally establish their city as a genuine hockey town (sort of like how marrying Lamar Odom made Khloe Kardashian a real celebrity – legitimacy by association).

Next time you see a suspected pyramid schemer in the corner of a trendy wine bar sporting a $200 hair cut, $900 suit, and emanating a distinct air of scumbag from his Drakkar Noir-soaked pores – go ahead and ask him about Kevin Bieksa, because odds are he’s a Vancouver Canucks fan and doesn’t want to cry himself to sleep again before throwing out obscene predictions about the Norris Trophy.”

Now, this is what they say about Habs fans:

“Imagine the most annoying French person you’ve ever met…Now picture 18,250 or so of them together under one roof, and you might get a vague idea of what the Canadiens’ fan base is all about. Years ago, Montreal fans decided that instead of supporting their team or bathing on a regular basis, they would prefer to torment their best players and effectively eliminate themselves from Stanley Cup contention every year. They made Patrice Brisebois, a homegrown blueliner who won community service awards, leave town in tears and recently decided the best way to foster their young, superstar goaltender (Carey Price) was to boo him relentlessly to the point where he looked like he was going to have a mental breakdown during the post-series handshake. There was even a prop bet in Vegas about how Price was going to kill himself after the game. Way to shatter your one young prospect’s confidence for years to come. Salut!”

And this is what I have to say about Habs fans:

Forget about the greaseballs who riot after games, who tip over cop cars, who burn things, loot, and puke on their girlfriends’ heads. These aren’t Habs fans. They’re using the team as an excuse to go insane, and hopefully, to jail.

And forget about the ones who boo Carey Price and others. These aren’t Habs fans. They’re just immature people who like to hear themselves, who’ve probably had a little bit too much to drink, and who really, when you get down to it, know very little about hockey.  They’re the ones who go to rock concerts and put their girfriends on their shoulders even though they’re in the first row, thus blocking those behind them. And they’re so busy booing their own team, they forget to boo the other. What kind of fan is that?  They think it’s very cool to have others see them showing their displeasure. It’s all about ego, poor upbringing, and difficulty with constipation.

Sure we love our past, when Stanley Cups were the order of the day, and we want it all back. I don’t understand the problem. I hear fans of other teams going on about this all the time. They say, “forget it, the Habs aren’t the Habs of of old. Those days are over.” Of course, all the while they’re saying this, they’re hoping their own team will win again, or for the first time. For some reason, they can think about past glory or new glory, but Habs fans aren’t allowed to.

I remember being on a subway in New York, and I said to my friend something about wanting to see a Rangers game. Some guy overheard me say “Rangers” and figured I was slandering them. He came up to me, put his face close to mine and said, “What did you say about my Rangers? You want me to kick your ass?”

If you ever get a chance to read some Bruins blogs, you’ll see that they are everything Habs fans are accused of being – slanted, biased, arrogant, and opinionated. And that’s okay. But for whatever reason, it’s okay to be a Bruins fan but not a Habs fans.

Leafs fans are Leaf fans. But good for them for sticking with their team. Of course, we’re not allowed to, but Leaf fans are.

Fans of every other team are allowed to go unchallenged at being crazy about their team, with dreams of winning, with sheer joy at winning. But not Habs fans. We aren’t allowed to cheer for our team without being accused of living in the past, of hoping with passion, and with love for a team that’s often not good enough, of living in some kind of altered state.

Many Habs-haters simply picked this up from their fathers who happened to be hockey fans when the Canadiens ruled the roost. The dads despised the Habs because the Habs beat their teams regularly, and naturally their kids learned to despise them too. And now, with the Canadiens not doing so well, many people are jumping for joy. Other people can be big fans of their team like the guy in the New York subway, but we’re not allowed to be Habs fans. All because the Canadiens had more success than other teams over the years.

I agree with Canucks fans being in this top ten list. But not all Canucks fans, not by a country mile. People like Jordy and Jan,who offer comments on this site, who grew up on the west coast and have a personal stake in their team. But they also appreciate hockey in general, and at times, even cheer for the hated Habs. But many aren’t in the Jordy/Jan category and are simply and tremendously annoying.

Like I say in my little bio on my site, if Canucks fans have no problem slandering the Habs to my face and telling me how much they hate my team, then how can they expect me to start cheering for their team? It’s a two-way street, and somehow, they don’t understand this.

17 thoughts on “Having A Look At The Fans”

  1. Dennis, so glad you are a real fan of your Habs. You are supposed to be passionate and opinated about your team. Anything less, you are a just jumping on the bandwagon.

    Obviously these yahoos who wrote the list haven’t a clue! Go Habs! Go Bruins! Go fill-in-your-team!

  2. Dennis, then there is me, the disgruntled Habs fan. I thought we were going to the promised land in 2008. It’s been downhill since. I was a fan in the seventies and naturally anything short of a cup is considered failure. I’m just tired of waiting because if you are a Habs fan 16 years sans cup is unthinkable. I don’t want to wait another five years. I want an elite team that at least goes past three rounds and I want it now. End rant.

  3. One more thing, I hate clawing into an eighth playoff spot. You know we’ll be out in the first round. It’s a waste of time.

  4. Thing I hate about that ranking is…we’re not all French here :/ Many walks of life, speaking French, English, Arabic, Italian, etc go to the Bell Center to proudly watch the team. The lower bowl isn’t all corporate either. Would you believe a family going to their seats dressed in Habs jerseys and the daughters sporting hijabs on top? This is what Montreal is all about. Oh and the booing idiots, if they’re not the angry idiot drunks in the so-called “fan” section, are mostly bored, displaced Nords fans who would leave and go cheer for the “True Quebec Team” if they ever came back… (I know a few of them, and yes, that’s how they refer to the Nordiques)…

    Canucks fans are a bizarre breed though. I find them rather fascinating… Last night I was watching the Stars/Nucks games (oh Turco you break my heart!) and the Nucks were winning, but the crowd was dead silent… not even a “Tuuurcoooo” chant…barely a cheer when someone threw a hit…and this was the 3rd period! Maybe I’m just too used to seeing the Bell Center rock like a playoff game every night?

    Good rant though. Happy thanksgiving day!

  5. Great stuff Dennis…

    I’m pretty sure Spike TV is on my list of “don’t watch it”…. and even though they’re getting some press here…. I think they’ll stay on my “won’t chekc ‘em out” list….

    Honestly, someone acting in an immature way isn’t really just a characteristic of a Habs fan or sports fan in general…. I mean… these Spike TV dudes have painted themselves with the same brush their trying to use to humor us with comments like these “Years ago, Montreal fans decided that instead of supporting their team or bathing on a regular basis”…. sounds the same as how some fans resort to personal attacks to me.

    Oh well… I need a coffee…. and that’s not funny.

    ;-)

  6. Dennis, I am worried about my little brother. He used to be a huge Habs fan, but just the other day he gave me hell. I was joking about the Leafs and laughing about what a crappy start to the season they had. Then he was actually cheering them during their 5-2 loss to the Penguins Saturday. At first, I thought it was a big act, but now I’m not so sure.
    What should I do? The thought of him joining the legions of lost souls that they call Leaf Nation frightens me…

  7. Danno, if you’re brother becomes a Leafs fan, then it’s time to disown him. It’s okay, you still have other family members. Don’t forget, there’s always one black sheep in every family. But it is a big disappointment to see a someone abandon the Habs. Maybe you should shoot him.

  8. thanks, Dennis….good hockey is just that, good hockey.I am a West Coaster through and through …. Have to admit the crowd was abit quiet last night tho’ , I agree with you #31…..until the shootout! Yahooooo!

  9. Dennis,

    Thanks for the complement. I have to say though I had a good chuckle reading this post. It was obviously written by somebody in Toronto though since there is nothing more annoying then listening to their fans, and to not have them mentioned in the most annoying fans (they should have placed #1 in my opinion) is insane. The habs may not be the power house they used to be in the 1970’s and earlier, but at least they still make the playoffs and have a competitive team. Unlike the leafs fans who are stupid enough to think their team is going to be better in the “next” year but only seem to get worse. The canucks may not have won a stanley cup but they’ve only been around since 1970, the leafs last cup was 66′ with only 6 teams in the league. The canucks drought sucks and who knows when it will end but I can feel 100% comfortable saying it will end before the leafs drought does.

  10. Haha, Dennis those are some harsh words for Danno’s brother!

    But anyway. In my opinion, I think we have the most loyal fans in sports history. The Habs are a religion in Montreal, literally. There’s a church-like thing in Montreal, it’s awesome.
    The booing only comes from bandwagoners , the guys who jump in the crowd and have no knowledge of the game nor the Habs., or maybe from a deadbeat dad who’s had a little too much to drink, and tries to blame on Carey Price because he’s sick of his wife.
    My point is, Habs fans are crazy about their team, things can get out of hand when Hockey is that important in Montreal. We don’t see things like this happen with other clubs, because, frankly, they don’t give a s**t.

    I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again.
    Leafs fans should just give up. after all these years they somehow stay optimistic? I don’t get it.
    Year after year it’s: “We’ll try again next season!”
    I say: “And the next million!”

    Canucks fans are annoying too. I just can’t explain it.
    They probably send this obnoxious vibe.
    And Roberto Luongo. Don’t get me wrong he’s one of my favorite goalies, but, he’s either a choker, or a guy with terrible timing. Because he seems to play terribly once the playoffs starts.
    The Sedins are a great duo, but they’re little pretty boys.
    Kevin Bieksa, meh (Dion Phaneuf wanna be)
    Kyle Wellwood likes getting robbed by goalies.
    Mats Sundin, HA!
    Alexandre Burrows, assaults 19 year old little league goalies (it happened at the ice rink i used to live right beside.)

    Wow, that was a mouthful. But i think it had to be said

    And that is all.

  11. Thanks for the advice Denis, but I decided to go with something a little less extreme. After the shellacking the leafs suffered last night against the Ranger (7-2) I decided to use some tough love. I told him to face it. The Leafs have fallen, they are rotting and becoming compost like their botanical namesakes. If that doesn’t work the family is considering professional help…

  12. Danno, great stuff and thanks for that. Really interesting to hear folks go on about the Leafs and what a sad state of affiars is it there. I’ve never cared for this team and when Burke was hired, my opinion of them sunk even lower. Anyone want a good laugh, click on to the site Danno gives.

  13. Leaf fan joke:

    Did you hear the one about the guy who had a dog who would watch hockey on TV and would crawl into a corner and cry when the Leafs were playing bad? His buddy sees this and asks “Well, what does the dog do when they are playing good?” The guy says: “I don’t know, my dog’s only 13 years old…”

    Leafs = Laughs

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