Happy Rocket Long Weekend
It’s the big Victoria Day long weekend in Canada, when we celebrate a queen from so far back that even Bob Cole wasn’t even born yet.
I don’t know about this. Did she even come to Canada? Did she watch the Leafs and say “We are not amused?”
It’s a great weekend though. It’s a time when students come home to visit mom and pop and spend the three days partying with friends with mom and pop never seeing them except at dinner time. It’s when outlaw bikers gather to play frisbee and learn to ballroom dance. And it’s when millionaire hockey players not in the playoffs finally open up their million dollar cottages up in the Muskokas or Laurentians.
I don’t know why we have a holiday for a British queen who reigned more than a hundred years ago. My feeling is, this big weekend should be in honour of Maurice Richard, the man responsible for slaying charging troops from Toronto and Boston, and overcoming the evil and ruthless Clarence of Campbell.
And if it’s all about celebrating a birthday, Bob Dylan was born on May 24th. Bob grew up just a few miles south of Canada, in Hibbing, Minnesota, so he knows what cold, snow and hockey are. I’m sure that right now he’s reading The Hockey News from his pad in Malibu. For me, it’s no contest between Bob and Vicky. Not once did I party and do illegal drugs to a Queen Victoria record.
Although Vicky was quite a looker, don’t you think?
But Rocket beats them both. Of course. So to everyone out there, Happy Canadian Rocket Long Weekend. If your kids aren’t home, don’t worry. They’re probably passed out in a dumpster somewhere and will be fine by dinner time.