Yes indeed, Happy New Year.
May 2010 be a great year for you, and may you not get arthritis. And if you do get arthritis, let me know, I have some ideas to make you feel better, some of them even legal.
And while you’re all partying and kissing your partner’s best friend and wearing a lamp shape on your head and whooping and hollering as the new year gets closer, I’ll be working. I’ll be making sure the ferry runs smoothly so we don’t have the problems they’re having at airports. Yes people, I’m doing it for you.
It’s all about you.
And it’s also about the Habs.
In 2010, may there be no more injuries. May both our goalies not have to face 45 shots anymore. May the team climb high in the standings and show Leaf and Bruins fans they were wrong when they said bad things about us.
May the Habs wives and girlfriends continue to look beautiful and experience peace and contentment when your guys are napping on game day instead of showing affection to you. And may he say sweet things to you and kiss you on the cheek and not complain about the coach or the lack of ice time he’s getting.
May we never see those striped uniforms in 2010.
May Canada’s Olympic team win gold, and our Juniors too, even though I was cut from the junior squad because I didn’t come to any practices and I’m too old. But hey, nobody told me all the rules.
May all the readers of this blog be healthy, wealthy and wise. A fellow wrote in to a hockey website recently about this blog, saying that the comments here are the liveliest and friendliest out there. At some point I’ll post this letter because I think he’s right. When things really heat up in the comment section here, it makes for terrific reading because everyone really knows what they’re talking about. Of course, these readers get to watch games while others are working.
And once again, soon I’ll be packing my dismal, meagre peanut butter sandwiches and trudging to work with my head down and a frown on my face while you are laughing and smiling and telling lousy jokes and watching the Habs and the juniors and the silliness in Time’s Square and eating cupcakes and I”ll be stuck making sure the ferry’s doing fine because it affects the economy and people’s moods and it’s all about you. I want you to get to your gawddamn, overrated, hangover-inducing parties safe and sound and on time.
Yes people, I’m working so you don’t have to.
Happy New Year to everyone!