A little while ago a fellow sent me a $75 gift certificate from NHL.com stores because I had done a small favor for him, and I think it was real nice of him. So I looked through everything the store had to offer and finally decided on this fine pocket watch with handsome chrome holder. Now, when I walk down the street with my watch in my pocket and chain hanging out, I feel good.
And because of this fine pocket watch, I’m able to tell you that in less than 1395 hours, the Habs will have clobbered Toronto in the big first game of the season. With this watch I’ll be able to move it slowly back and forth in front of people’s eyes, tell them they’re getting drowsy, and hypnotize them into throwing money at me which they won’t remember doing when I snap my fingers. And If I wear this watch with my vintage vest and fedora, women will scream with delight and chase me down the street the way they used to do with the Beatles.
It’s a fine watch.