Gionta, Price, And That Other Guy

Brian Gionta’s been cleared to play after the torn bicep tendon in his left arm healed the way everyone hoped. It’s good. We need the experience he brings. And some big goals now and again.

Speaking of biceps, how I wish Carey Price would’ve schmucked Tim Thomas in their little scuffle in 2011. Thomas skated the length of the ice, Price put the mask and gloves down, Thomas did too, and then Price tossed Thomas to the ice.

That was it. Big disappointment. Darn.

If I was writing the script, Price would have put the mask and gloves down, got close enough to the Bruins goalie, and smashed him eighteen times in the face, sending Thomas’ nose cartilage and fibrofatty tissue to the back recesses of the brain, triggering dormant cells that make him warble “Give Peace a Chance” as both eyes turn coal black and teeth rattle so much they end up lodged in the roof of his mouth and he pleads to Barack Obama and Wavy Gravy for mercy.

Brian Gionta’s been cleared.

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