Georges Laraque Needs A Beach

I’m sick of Georges Laraque and I want him to go away. I don’t want to see him in anymore ridiculous commercials (see bottom) and I don’t want to see him fighting UFC’s Georges St. Pierre on TSN either.

I especially don’t want him yapping about how important a player he was for the Habs only that bastard Jacques Martin didn’t like him. Georges Gives His Side Of The Story.

You were a bum, Georges. You were no help whatsoever. I can skate as good as you and I haven’t skated in 15 years. You were on the team to make sure big guys on other teams didn’t have their way with your smaller teammates. Instead, you’d prefer to burn incense, throw flowers around, put a little soft music on, and spend twelve hours a day admiring yourself in front of a mirror while you dreamed of dancing naked around a campfire at Woodstock.

Our boys fended for themselves because you didn’t scare anybody. And if you were a better player, maybe you would’ve been given more ice time. How’s that for a concept?

If you would have done what you were paid a king’s ransom to do, you’d still be in the NHL somewhere. Although not with the Habs, mind you. They can skate and play the game and you can’t.

On second thought, maybe you wouldn’t be somewhere else in the NHL. It seems every team has players who can play the game and that sort of lets you out.

Why didn’t you dance with Milan Lucic that time? Don’t tell me he wanted no part of you. You could have forced your will upon him with profound nastiness. You could have taken the first punches, got about five in before he knew what hit him. Instead, the two of you did a stupid little waltz, you smiled a lot, and you both went your separate ways.

It was the most disappointing non-fight I’ve ever seen.

Tell me again why you were on the team?

Go away Georges. Go to Tahiti or Brazil and flex your muscles on the beach and get laid 365 days a year. You were never good enough to be a Montreal Canadien. Move on.

Maybe Brazil has a beer league.

The clip below is Georges’ new commercial I spoke of earlier. Georges, please. Stop it.

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