Controlling The NHL With The Powers Of The Mind.

Maybe it’s nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s only just fluke. But I’m scaring myself and I feel I need to be careful.


It’s all about the laws of attraction, powerful magnetic forces, and controlling thoughts. That’s why I need to be careful. I don’t want to disrupt the perfect harmony which is, ahem, the NHL.


A few posts ago, I wrote, sort of tongue-in-cheek, that I hoped Nick Lidstrom of the Wings would substain injuries this year as he and a few others on that team make them a powerful problem in the Canadiens quest to win the big prize. I really didn’t mean a bad injury, maybe just a little muscle pull or broken finger. That’s not so bad, is it?


The very next day, Lidstrom took a puck in the face and is now out with a broken nose.


And then some kind of opposite magnetic force came into play when I mentioned in the same story that Montreal needs to stay healthy, and right away, Koivu, Lang, Tanguay, Latendresse, Higgins, Hamrlik, Laraque, Kovalev, and Brisebois all went down with various groin, foot, and hip problems.


And so far, only Kovalev has returned. These injuries are why I need to learn to control this.


So you see why I’m scaring myself and am wondering about powers of the mind that I may have somehow obtained recently. I’ve never had them before, so why now?


I’ve never felt ill-will to anyone. Maybe just to Sean Avery and Jarkko Ruutu, but that’s it. And all I ever said about them is that I wish someone would wipe those smiles off their faces permanently.


So if you see on the sports news that Sean Avery was run into the glass and had his face wiped off completely, or that Ruutu decides no one likes him, especially by his coach, so he has no reason to smile and actually doesn’t anymore, then you’ll know my powers are in effect.


And if I channel these powers properly, I just may be able to make Bob Cole get through a game without forgetting names, both of players and himself.


is it possible my powers could move a team from a lousy US market back to Canada?


And maybe, just maybe, I can somehow use these new-found powers to change the minds of the Montreal brass to re-think their decision and let me be a flag guy at a game.


Or even better, stickboy.



2 thoughts on “Controlling The NHL With The Powers Of The Mind.”

  1. At last, I got my pc working again. Hmmm, is this good new or bad???

    Psychic phenomena are closely linked to repression which causal connection is acknowledged by horror flicks such as Carrie and Poltergeists. Sorry, Dennis, not only are you waaaay too sunny to qualify, you get constantly stroked by all and sundry which treatment hardly lends itself to a build-up of a demonic level of internal tensions. Nope. I’ll put my money on Gaston. It’s a no-brainer: locked in a box, locked in a trunk, constantly berated and belittled, his uncle cruelly murdered and Gaston himself living every minute under the shadow of your well-honed hatchet and, well, the list goes on. As Marlon would say, “The horror of it (all?).” And when I had the honour of meeting Gaston and shook his hand I felt the heat, the throbbing repressed energies coursing through his poor battered body and I knew that, although he bravely strove to retain his dignity and sense of self-worth, he was hurting inside – his grimace says it all. I therefore raise the question: was Gaston the cause of all those goalposts in the Philly series? Is he punishing you, albeit unconsciously, for your callous disregard for his welfare? Are you the REAL reason why we have gone cupless for 15 years? Perhaps it’s time to stop stroking and start stomping on you Dennis. A little taste of your own medicine might relieve Gastons intra-dynamic conflicts and therefore led to better results for the team. So, for the good of the Habs in this centennial year I call upon all loyal Habbers to slag Dennis Kane with righteous calumny, to heap obloquy on him until he reaches out to Gaston and helps to heal rather than hurt him.

  2. Gaton. Hah! And now I’ve heard that the Blue Jays have offered Gaston a multi-year contract. They can have him. I hope he has a close relationship with some of the wooden bats.

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