On ebay, there’s a couple of shirts you can choose from to add to your collection. The first one is a guy peeing and it says “Habs piss on the Leafs.” The other simply says “Leafs Suck.” These are two very important shirts that Montreal fans should own. We can wear them to church, and to White House and Buckingham Palace dinners. We can wear them when we go home to mom’s for Thanksgiving. Heck, we can wear them when we’re having sex! (with our wives, pervert). I only bring this up because the team is slumping and they play the Leafs tomorrow.
The team’s in a slump and I’m writing nothing because no one except Lawrence reads this anyway. The best thing I’ve got is this: What did one hooker say to the other? “If I don’t get to bed pretty soon, I’m going home to sleep.”
Other than worrying about the team making the playoffs, or winning the Stanley Cup, is one other thing. That is, they hold the mighty record for least number of losses in a season, an 80 game season, and that number is 8 by the 1976-77 version starring Lafleur, Shutt, Lemaire, Robinson, Dryden, Laponte, Savard, etc.etc. Now Ottawa fans are secretly hoping their shitty version of a good team can equal or better this record. Sens fans should be content with their little record of 5 losses by their team back in 1919-20, but of course, it was only a 24 game season so it’s a lousy record. Here’s hoping Ottawa slumps badly and loses a lot because even though they’re pretty good, they sure ain’t the ’76-77 Habs. Only the the late ’50’s Habs could match that team. Ottawa fans, (many of whom were staunch Habs fans not that long ago and switched, which is inexcusable), must be on purple microdot acid.
First I find out Ottawa beat the team again, then I drank some Neo Citron to make me tired, then I dozed off, and then the alarm went off and and I had to go to work. Does it get any worse than this? These last few games are telling me they might be slumping, so they’d better put together a few in a row or I’m gonna talk to Morenz and the Rocket and the boys at the Bell Centre don’t need the wrath of these guys. But they deserve it. There’s no way I’m gonna let what happened last year happen again.
I didn’t see tonight’s Habs 7-4 win over Boston so I’ll just take Ron Maclean’s word for it that Montreal had over 50 shots and 11 different players figured in the scoring for Montreal. There was also quite a few fights which is always a good thing. At least they woke up after their peaceful slumber in Buffalo. But why do they do that? One game they play like Conrad Black on downers, and the next they play like the 1976-77 team. Maybe some rinks like Buffalo pipe poisonous gasses into the visitors dressing room. Maybe it’s just laziness. Maybe they need me to help motivate Carbonneau. But I digress. They won for goodness sakes. This should be enough. More interesting, Toronto beat Ottawa 3-0. Now there’s a team, Toronto, who needs serious psychological help. Harold Ballard, where are you when we need you?