Category Archives: Minnesota Wild

Habs Almost….


Imagine how good it’s going to feel when they win a game!

Don’t forget, they set a record for most wins in regulation to start a season when they racked up nine straight, so that helps, right?

A goal by Montreal’s surprising Daniel Carr closed the gap, but the hometown Minnesota Wild held on for a 2-1 win as the Habs’ ridiculous slump continues. And Lucifer rubs his hands with glee at his incredibly nasty joke on us saintly Habs fans.

The Canadiens have lost a lot of games lately. No need to rehash numbers.

Good. This part done. Now a fresh regrouping until Boxing Day, when it’s on to Washington to play the really good Capitals.

And with the Christmas regrouping, and some serious shit from their wives, we’ll see a new team. An upset, fed up, dried up, beat up team that will rise from the wrath of their wives and kids and dogs and neighbours and grocery store clerks and destroy Ovechkin and crew and boot the Zamboni as they leave the building.

Starting soon, they’re gonna kick this slump in the nuts. And they’re gonna start scoring.

Sliding Further In Nashville


There wouldn’t be a big win in Nashville to ease the pain, and the dreadful slide continues.

Habs fall 5-1 to the Nashville Predators and have now lost four straight, and eight of their last nine. Or nine of their last eleven if you want to stretch it to the max. What a friggin’ December.

They can’t score either. And their power play is in a coma.

Tabarnak it’s a sad state of affairs.

On a positive note, Nashville’s fifth goal was into the empty net.

No matter how you look at at it, this sinking into the depths of hell sucks plenty. They were going so good, not that long ago. Nine straight wins, baby. Remember that? The toast of the hockey world. Wow!

Then it just kinda went away, like your allowance at the roulette table.

At one point last season (late November, early December), the Habs won just once in seven games, but then rebounded to win nine of their next ten.

However, Carey Price was in nets when they rebounded. So it’s entirely possible this year’s rebound is still a ways off.

As far as goaltending goes, it’s been Condon replacing Toker, Toker replacing Condon, Condon replacing Toker. Won’t somebody grab the job and hold on for goodness sakes?

I’m not into it and I apologize. But if they’re not going to play hard and with heart, why should I type when I could be making a grilled cheese and picking my toenails?

Tuesday’s another day, with the boys in Minnesota.

Canadiens outshot the Preds 36-19, but they’ve outshot the opposition often during this wretched time. So answers lay elsewhere.





Dallas Does Debbies


The impressive Dallas Stars rolled over the Montreal Liberaces 6-2 Saturday in the Lone Star State, and it was a night when most Liberace players probably should’ve just stayed in the hotel lounge and tickled the ivories and drank Pink Ladies instead.

Eight losses in ten games. Now it’s on to Nashville, Minnesota, Washington, Tampa Bay, Florida, Boston, and Philadelphia.

All good teams.

I’m starting to bite my nails again after quitting 20 years ago.

And although Paul Byron (shorthanded) and Daniel Carr would bulge the twine, once again the big guns stayed silent. Pee Wee Herman, Richard Simmons, Don Knox, Bill Nye – none of them were noticeable in this fiasco.

Mike Condon was replaced by Dustin Tokarski early in the third after the sixth goal.

Jeff Petry was hit by Jamie Benn and left the game.

P.K. Subban shot the puck over the glass and was penalized. Twice.

Andrei Markov only did it once.

Random Notes:

For breakfast I had two poached eggs on toast, with extra toast and coffee.

At this moment, P.K. Subban is thinking a little about his two delay of games penalties, and a lot about his new suit at the tailors and his ability to get Justin Trudeau to sing a Christmas carol.

Next up – Monday in Music City.

How are things in the world of cricket?

Pure Prairie Sailing

Canadiens won 3-1 in Carolina on Monday night, with goals from Jiri Sekac, Lars Eller, and Max Pacioretty. Max now has 14 in 36 games, which, over 82 games, would amount to……………….quite a bit. More than 30. (You thought I was going to do the math?)

A few things to note:

Lucy, Teesha, and I went from Kenora to Moose Jaw today (860 km), and it’s a tad chilly. Down around minus-25 all day, and -35 or -40 during the night. The car windows never truly cleared all day.

But the roads are dry, which is all I care about. And the price of gas is around 90 cents a litre right now, which is also cool.

I know it’s not nearly over, but so far this drive. that began in Montreal, has been, aside from the three hour snowstorm from the Soo to Wawa, dry roads and smooth sailing. But Calgary tomorrow, then through the Rockies the next day, and who knows what’s in store? Maybe we’ll see a sasquatch.

Moose Jaw TV showed the Winnipeg-Minnesota game and the Canada-Finland World Junior game, but no Habs, which brings to me to the big question. When I reach the coast and am phoning around about getting cable connected, what’s the best option for seeing the Canadiens?

This paragraph is about Teesha the Wonder Cat. Two weeks ago she was near death. She couldn’t walk, couldn’t eat, couldn’t move. Now I feel she’s at about 70% overall. Her walking isn’t great and she won’t drink water voluntarily, but other than that, she’s doing great and we’re mighty proud of her.

Tomorrow we stay with my son Rory in Calgary. Then it’s Banff, Lake Louise, Golden, Rogers Pass, and Kamloops, but only if the weather cooperates. After that, Vancouver, then up coast.

But I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. Right now I’m only concerned about the car starting in the morning.



Habs Win In Buffalo

buffaloCan the Canadiens win against Josh Gorges, Brian Gionta, and the lowly Buffalonians? My confidence is shattered.

Jiri Sekac and Jarred Tinordi are in, Rene Bourque’s a healthy scratch, and Mike Weaver has come down with the flu.

Is it only a coincidence that both Weaver and Lucy are sick at the same time? Is Weaver having an affair with my wife?

Dustin Tokarski is starting in nets for the Canadiens, and I want to get this out right now. Tokarski’s teammates call him Ticker and not Toker, probably because word has come down from above that there will be no marijuana connotation.

The Canadiens organization is all about image and I’m guessing they aren’t crazy about the nickname Toker. But it’s what I prefer, so here at least, it’s Toker.

The boys have also been playing like they’ve been toking between periods.

First Period:


Habs – slightly boring. Period in general – more than slightly boring.

Michael Bournival got crunched and it looks like a shoulder problem.

Neat play of the period – Sekac showed some fine moves when he did some dangling on one particular shift.

On the plus side, Toker’s working on a shutout. On the minus side, so’s the Buffalo goalie.

Second Period:

0-0. The shutout is still in effect. Boring is also still in effect.

Neat play of the period – um….Pleky and Max coming close when shorthanded?

Disappointing play of the period – Canadiens came in on a 3 on 1 and Manny Malhotra shot it over the net.

Third Period:

ET LE BUT!!! 1-0 Habs when P.A. Parenteau converts a P.K. rebound. It’s hard to believe and I don’t know what to say.

But…hold on. After Jiri Sekac crushed Zadorov into the end boards, the Sabres tied it up on the power play.


Better period but it still sucked.

Neat play of the period – I forgot to write it down if there was one.


Two great chances by Max, both foiled by Neuvirth.


Them – yep
Galchenyuk – yep
Them – nope
DD – nope
Them – nope
Parenteau – yep

Canadiens win 2-1. Not great by a long shot, but it’s two points and maybe they can become motivated by this.

Next up – Saturday, when gambling kingpin Thomas Vanek and the Minnesota Wild visit the Bell.

Summer Notes From Habsville

A number of things happened Habs-wise this summer, the most surprising being I was able to decipher the notes I’d made regarding the things that happened Habs-wise this summer.

Gone are Daniel Briere, Josh Gorges, Brian Gionta, Tomas Vanek, Ryan White, Douglas Murray, George Parros, and anthem singer Charles Prevost Linton.

Francis Bouillon, at this writing, remains stranded on the desert island named Limbo. Douglas Murray’s island is slowly sinking. George Parros’ island is somewhere near the lost continent of  Atlantis.

White now finds himself in Philadelphia where one of his jobs will be to protect captain Claude Giroux from grabbing police officers’ buttocks, and Bouillon’s future seems secure. If he doesn’t find a hockey job, the City of Montreal is ready to step in and make him a fire hydrant.

Auditions are now in process for the anthem singing gig. Unfortunately, management, with a somewhat prickly attitude, has informed me that I’m not allowed to be singer AND stick boy.

Forward P.A. Parenteau, from Colorado in exchange for Briere, is now part of the family, and Gorges and Gionta aren’t, as the two UFAs were picked up by Buffalo, a place Gionta is probably happy about being. Gorges, maybe not as much, considering it’s Buffalo.

Parenteau is 31 and hopefully more effective than Briere, who is on the verge (Oct. 7th) of becoming 37. Gorges’ passion and shot blocking will be missed. Gionta’s captaincy will be replaced in a year or two, and until then, Max, Markov, Pleks and P.K. will serve as assistant captains.

In the spirit of fairness, Markov, with the most seniority, should be the one to accept the Stanley Cup from Mr. Bettman next spring.

Signings this summer involved free  agents Manny Malhotra (1-year, from Carolina), Tom Gilbert (2-years, from Florida), and goaltender Joey MacDonald (1-year, from Calgary). And Jiri Sekac from the KHL Lev Praha squad signed a two-year entry level deal.

Those with new contracts include P.K. Subban, at 9 million a year for 8 years. Apparently there is no truth to the rumour that P.K. has bought the Sun Life Building in downtown Montreal to use as his winter residence, so you can stop thinking about that.

Regulars Andrei Markov (3 years), Dale Weise (2-year extension), Mike Weaver (1 year), Lars Eller (4 years), and coach Michel Therrien (4-year extension), also penned their names on paper.

Chosen in the 2014 Entry draft, 26th overall, was Moscow-born Nikita Scherbak, who looks, speaks, and plays like a young Alex Galchenyuk, who’s a grizzled old guy now.

Assistant coach Gerard Gallant is now the head guy in Florida and replaced by Montreal native Dan Lacroix.

Lacroix helped out behind the Rangers bench last year, and if it was he who advised the despicable Chris Kreider to run Carey Price and then Dustin Tokarski, he should be hung by the thumbs outside a Bell Centre window for several hours, and then be forced to teach our guys (aside from Brendan Gallagher) how to run goalies too.

Player Development guru Patrice Brisebois leaves and replaced by former NHLer Rob Ramage. And Trevor Timmins has had the title “Vice President of Player Personnel” added to his “Director of Amateur Scouting” handle.

Timmins is widely respected, particularly in Northern Ontario where they named a small city after him.

Former Canadiens captain Saku Koivu, an ultra-talented battler if there ever was one, retired after 1124 regular season games played, with his last 5 seasons in Anaheim and 13 years and one lockout season with Montreal before that. Thank you Saku, for all you did for the Montreal Canadiens and the city. Which was plenty.

And finally, Mensa member Brad Marchand mentioned that he dislikes Tomas Plekanec quite a bit. “Anybody who spells “Thomas” without  an “H” is a rotten bastard”, said Brad.

Other things could happen in the days and weeks too. If so, just mentally paste them to this.

Bell Number Eight?

Hard to believe that seeing a game at the Bell Centre only ranks number 8 behind Minnesota, Washington, Winnipeg, Tampa Bay, Philadelphia, St. Louis, and New York, but that’s what the Stadium Journey people have decided in their new 2014 rankings.

I was sure there was no better experience than being at the Bell. In fact I’m still sure, regardless of what they say. Number 8 definitely beats Ottawa though, which comes in at a dismal 29th.

Here’s the link with new ratings for all the barns – Stadium Journey Arena Rankings.

Let’s Go Habs!

The Rangers have their share of guns. Brad Richards (4 goals, 5 assists), Martin St. Louis (3 goals, 5 assists), and yes indeed, Benoit Pouliot with 3 goals and 5 assists.

There are others as well, including a quiet Rick Nash who has no goals and 5 assists and seems to be one of these guys, like Joe Thornton, who oozes talent but doesn’t have what it takes when things get truly serious.

We need Nash to continue his sleepy ways.

Benoit Pouliot played for the Canadiens in 2009-10 and 2010-11, coming over from Minnesota in a swap for Guillaume Latendresse, and we were excited because he’d been the 4th pick overall in the 2005 Entry Draft. We thought we were getting a big, long-legged, smooth and budding superstar.

Kind of like Max.

Instead he was a huge disappointment who often seemed lazy, often gave the puck away, never seemed to like the rough going, often took truly stupid penalties, and soon he was gone to Boston, then Tampa Bay, and this season New York where, weirdly enough, he’s emerged as one of the Rangers’ big guns.

Pouliot’s going to want to make a big impression in this series. He’s got things to prove. Which makes it all the more beautiful when we shut him down completely.

We also need big Rick Nash to stay quiet. He’s a big talent who’s been snoring while St. Louis, Richards, Pouliot, Brassard, Hagland and others go about their business.

Let’s go Habs. It’s a beautiful time right now. The streets of St. Hubert are alive!


The Violence Post

Enjoyed very much seeing Pens backstopper Marc-Andre Fleury blow it last night and allow the Columbus Blue Jackets to even the series. Fleury fumbled the puck at the boards near his net, the Jackets grabbed it and tied the game with 22.5 seconds left, and then in overtime Fleury fluffed a long shot from Nick Foligno.

Remember when Fleury and Peter Budaj almost came to blows back on January 22nd? Fleury had this huge grin on his face that cried out to be shut tight with a solid right into grinning mouth, stopping just short of his tonsils and causing him to pick pieces of teeth and throat mucus out of his mashed potatoes for the following month.

Zdeno Chara laughed in the face of Detroit’s Brendan Smith when the two stood toe to toe Sunday night, and how great it would’ve been to see Smith throw a punch and flatten Chara’s nose. Chara is 6’9″, but his nose is only four feet long and possibly made of the same stuff as humans. So it could be breakable.

It would be cool to see an accidental stick land hard between Milan Lucic’s legs tonight. Strictly accidental because I don’t condone violence. But enough to cause Lucic to squeal like a pig for the next three weeks and speak like Cindy Lauper forever after.

A seven-game suspension for Matt Cooke? When he gets back, his Wild teammates and Avs’ Tyson Barrie should meet him at the golf course and one after another practice prostate examinations with their wedge irons. Maybe use wooden-shaft Ben Hogan-endorsed models that might accidentally break halfway up.

Canadiens Bust Out

Maybe it was Brendan Prust fighting Zenon Konopka in the first period that set things in motion when the team was experiencing another tight-checking, non-scoring and frustrating game.

Or maybe it was simply a couple of great passes from David Desharnais to Max Pacioretty in the second period that set things ablaze.

Whatever it was, the Canadiens, led by Max, finally broke out of a team scoring slump and the boys found the back of the net six times in a huge 6-2 win over the visiting Minnesota Wild that put the Bell Centre folk in a partying mood, creating an atmosphere I’m sure the players wouldn’t mind being a part of again.

Hopefully the team can do something close to this on Friday on their one-game road trip to Washington. Score more than few goals from different players, different lines. If they do, credit the vibes from the Tuesday night home crowd to keeping the adrenaline going. It’s the power of the fan.

Six goals in one night. It was bound to happen at some point, but with the lack of scoring lately – four goals in their previous three games, who knew how long the futility might continue?

Just so much fun for everyone when the boys find their scoring ways. We’ve been teased, so don’t stop now. If you do, we’re pulling out the tar and feathers.

Max Pacioretty broke out in a big way, with three straight goals in the second period to set things in motion. David Desharnais, given second star on the night, fed Max in brilliant fashion, deft touches by DD we’ve seen in previous seasons, and it finally clicked after far too many games of pucks hopping over his stick, passes been deflected, and frequent boos from the not-so-cheap seats.

Brendan Gallagher, playing on the Patches/DD line, might have sparked the performance. Maybe his enthusiasm rubbed off on his linemates. But it was DD’s passes and Max’s conversions that lit the lamp. It makes my heart soar like a F-14D Super Tomcat.

Michael Bournival scored the team’s fourth goal, Daniel Briere made it 5-0 in the third, Alex Galchenyuk made it 6-1, and with just two seconds left in the game, Dany Heatley ruined things slightly with Daniel Briere in the penalty box.

All it took was Max to convert a couple of great passes from DD and the team miraculously steamrolled out of their funk. Just like that.

Next up – Friday, when the boys travel to Washington. More of the same please.