I’m still speechless after learning that the Ottawa Senators have had to forfeit their eighth-place finish when it was discovered that Sens’ owner Eugene Melnyk had bribed the Ottawa goal judge who happened to be the illegitimate son of Gary Bettman’s mistress, both of which were uncovered after a police raid in Kanata found a love triangle that included Mike Milbury, Glenn Healy, and fitnesss guru Richard Simmons, who were nabbed in a cross-dressing orgy at the home of Melynyk’s brother’s sister-in-law’s babysitter, who happened to be the goal judge’s mother who had somehow been let out prematurely from the Womens’ Home For Newly-Paroled Streetwalkers.
And because the illegal results were from every single Senators-Montreal Canadiens game this year, it has been ruled in an overwhelming vote from certain owners not wanting their dirty female laundry aired, that the Habs are indeed in this year’s playoffs and will take on the New York Rangers beginning Wednesday night in New York.
And because of the dastardy deeds unearthed, it has also been decided the Canadiens will NOT have to forfeit their high draft pick. So it’s a win-win situation for the Montrealers.
The Canadiens are now scrambling to find their jerseys which they had given out to fans after what they thought was their last game.
“I pense nous can take le Rangers,” said Randy Cunneyworth. “Et when nous do, qui knows que ca will happen?”
And for me personally, all I can say is, it’s about time the breaks went our way.
I just can’t wait for Wednesday. Go Habs!