It wasn’t working out for Marian Hossa. And some cruel bastards even thought it was funny.
He was a Pittsburgh Penguin in the finals against Detroit when the Wings won it all so he decided to abandon the Pens and go to Detroit where he thought he had a better chance. But alas, in a cruel twist of fate, his former team, the Pens, won it instead and Hossa probably didn’t think it was funny at all.
I thought it was fairly funny, though.
What a bummer for the guy. So he said to his agent, “Find me a winner” and his agent landed him a nice gig in Chicago.
In Hollywood it could have gone like this; Hossa signs just a one-year contract with Chicago (in reality it’s a 12- year deal), and then Philadelphia wins it all. Then Hossa signs with Philadelphia because he feels he has a better chance of winning, and out of the blue, Montreal captures the prize. Hossa finally decides to quit the NHL because he’s a jinx and also realizes Montreal is too strong and there’s no room for him there. So he joins St. Petersburg SKA of the KHL and they lose to Omsk and he moves to Omsk because he thought he would win there and they lose to St. Petersburg and the circle continues until he finds himself tormented and in a rehab facility and spends his remaining bitter years sitting in darkened rooms of his mansion on the banks of the Danube shooting out television screens with his pistol whenever hockey is mentioned.
Gary Busey could play Hossa. Pee Wee Herman would be Gary Bettman. A couple of those backwoods hillbillies in “Deliverance” would make an excellent Scott Hartnell and Dan Carcillo.
It was going to be sensational. Red carpets, starlet cleavage, poolside margaritas, paparazzi, flashbulbs, courtside seats beside Jack Nicholson at Lakers games.
But Chicago won, Hossa celebrates, and it’s all down the drain now.
This is a major setback.