Blockbuster Sizzled Then Fizzled

It wasn’t working out for Marian Hossa. And some cruel bastards even thought it was funny.

He was a Pittsburgh Penguin in the finals against Detroit when the Wings won it all so he decided to abandon the Pens and go to Detroit where he thought he had a better chance. But alas, in a cruel twist of fate, his former team, the Pens, won it instead and Hossa probably didn’t think it was funny at all.

I thought it was fairly funny, though.

What a bummer for the guy. So he said to his agent, “Find me a winner” and his agent landed him a nice gig in Chicago.

In Hollywood it could have gone like this; Hossa signs just a one-year contract with Chicago (in reality it’s a 12- year deal), and then Philadelphia wins it all. Then Hossa signs with Philadelphia because he feels he has a better chance of winning, and out of the blue, Montreal captures the prize.  Hossa finally decides to quit the NHL because he’s a jinx and also realizes Montreal is too strong and there’s no room for him there. So he joins St. Petersburg SKA of the KHL and they lose to Omsk and he moves to Omsk because he thought he would win there and they lose to St. Petersburg and the circle continues until he finds himself tormented and in a rehab facility and spends his remaining bitter years sitting in darkened rooms of his mansion on the banks of the Danube shooting out television screens with his pistol whenever hockey is mentioned.

Gary Busey could play Hossa. Pee Wee Herman would be Gary Bettman. A couple of those backwoods hillbillies in “Deliverance” would make an excellent Scott Hartnell and Dan Carcillo.

It was going to be sensational. Red carpets, starlet cleavage, poolside margaritas, paparazzi, flashbulbs, courtside seats beside Jack Nicholson at Lakers games.

 But Chicago won, Hossa celebrates, and it’s all down the drain now.

This is a major setback.

7 thoughts on “Blockbuster Sizzled Then Fizzled”

  1. Well Dennis,

    I have to respectfully disagree about Hossa. I see nothing wrong with him wanting to win a cup. He was traded to the Pens and then didn’t resign with them, which I thought was a gutsy move. They were offering a multi year deal for a nice sum of money. Instead he signed with Detroit for a year. Risky business. Let’s just say he had suffered a career ending injury with Detroit during that year. He had passed up securing his financial future with the Pens hoping to have another shot at the cup. That tells me that he understands how special it is to win a championship, (unlike a lot of other players) so I tip my hat to him and I’m happy he won it.

  2. Man, what a great script.

    Maybe I can pitch it to Jack Nicholson and he can knock on a few doors for you…

  3. Thanks Moey. I appreciate very much what you say. But in my heart, Hossa isn’t Ray Bourque, after 21 years with one team and no success and finally going to a team with a real shot. In my mind, Hossa bailed on his teammates in his previous cities. I also feel he’s not at the time in his career where he can pick and choose like that, the way Bourque did. Okay, maybe he was completely legit in everything he did. But I see no alligiance to his team or teammates and it doesn’t sit well with me. Who is he to decide that he’ll choose a Cup winner to play with? Having an agent find a Stanley Cup for him goes against, and I suppose this is old-school thinking, my idea of a real player. But having said that, you make strong points.

  4. Danno, you’ve already got a front office job when I’m owner, but if you can make headway with the script, maybe I can move you up to vice-president!

  5. Dennis, in general I agree with your desire for more player loyalty. However I think it should go both ways, teams should be loyal to their players too. Hossa played well for Ottawa, and immediately after resigning he was traded to Atlanta and a couple years later they traded him to Pittsburgh rather than resign him. Those trades might have taught him it’s all about winning rather than allegiance.

    BTW, what are Laker games? Are they a minor league team?

  6. But Chris, isn’t that what highly successful movie people do? Go to Lakers games? They’ve got Lakers cheerleaders!

  7. Oh, the Lakers are the way rich people watch beautiful women, that makes sense. I misunderstood and thought there was a sport involved.
    I knew some movie stars go to Kings games when their home town team arrives. The rest I assumed just don’t like sports.

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