Beach Blanket Bingo And The Great And Historic Outhouse Search

If I were a less-mature man, I might be sobbing uncontrollably as it came time to say goodbye to West Hollywood. Goodbye Sunset Strip, goodbye beer in legendary rock clubs, goodbye great murder and drug overdose stories.

But fortunately, I can handle it. Sort of.

Also fortunately, it’s not the end of the world because our GPS lady took us to not one beach, not two, but three beaches!

I’m not sobbing because we spent the mid-morning in Venice Beach where I got a little Habs crest tattooed on my upper arm, then a couple of hours on the Santa Monica Pier, where Michael Douglas got shot by Robert Duvall and fell over the rail in the movie Falling Down, and certainly not in Malibu where we have a motel for the night and where we walked the beach at the Colony, the row of multi-million dollar homes owned by movie stars and others with too much money, and parked our blankets and soaked in the rays right behind the house where Bruce Willis and Demi Moore used to live before things went sour.

Just my luck. If Bruce Willis and Demi Moore hadn’t divorced and still lived there, they probably would have seen me out their window, called me in, made a few phone calls, and I’d be in the movies as planned.

That’s why we went for beer after the beach. To make me feel better.

One other very exciting thing I should mention before I’m out the door is the Bob Dylan experience. Last year, when we were in Malibu for the first time, I was reading a local newspaper and there was a letter to the editor from a guy who lives next door to Dylan over in Point Dume and he was complaining that the singer has an outhouse on his property and the smell was invading this guy’s house. He said he might have to move because of the stench but the city of Malibu (and Dylan) refused to do anything about it.

A while ago when I knew we were coming down here, I contacted a Malibu blogger who told me where Dylan’s house is, and so, in the name of great blogging, I went there in the hopes of photographing the smelly outhouse. But alas, as I began my walk down Dylan’s dirt driveway with a stable of horses close by, a security guy came out of nowhere and asked me why I hadn’t read the No Trespassing sign. I said I did, I just wanted to take a picture of an outhouse, but the guy didn’t laugh, not one bit, and told me I should leave.

So I did.

But enough about my bad luck and outhouses.  Here’s some photos.

Surfers at Venice Beach, only minutes before I got a little Habs tattoo on my upper arm at a funky little shop on the walkway.
Me at Venice Beach, again only minutes before my tattoo. That’s not a beer gut. I usually wear a pillow under my shirt when I go to the beach to keep the ladies away.
The entrance to Bob Dylan’s house at Point Dume in Malibu. All I saw were some horses and a bunch of steel containers.
When they were still married, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore’s house on the beach at Malibu, as shot from our blanket on the sand. It’s just too bad they didn’t stay together, still lived there, and invited us in for beer. Just my luck.
A stretch of the Malibu Colony, as taken from our blanket. If there’s any producers or directors reading, we’ll be back tomorrow.

6 thoughts on “Beach Blanket Bingo And The Great And Historic Outhouse Search”

  1. dennis,

    if you are going to get a tattoo, go big. i suggest you go right back there and get an official size hab crest across your chest. you can always go over the little one on your arm with # 9.

  2. Dennis, what are Bob Dylan’s neighbours supposed to do about his outhouse and its odours?

    The answer my friend is blowing in the wind…

  3. Too bad Bruce and Demi weren’t around. An indecent proposal where you get paid a million dollars to sleep with her is pretty good.

  4. You’re right, Christopher. But more importantly, the connections I would’ve got from them. It’s such a shame.

  5. I’m very happy that you’re having such a great time my friend but wait a minute… Where’s the photo of you on stage at a karaoke bar singing “Blowin’ In The Wind” or “Mr. Tambourine Man” ? Have fun!

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