Are You Sure You Want Your Daughter To Be In The Olympics?

I don’t care if my daughter was faster than Speedy Gonzales. I don’t care if she was 35 years old. I wouldn’t let her compete in the Olympics. There’s too many male athletes there with raging inner-guy things going on, and they’re only a thin wall or two from lovely lady athletes.


The IOC issues more than 50 condoms to every male athlete, which means that’s about three a day for sixteen days. Sure these athletes should be working out, but I was thinking more along the lines of athletics.


Fifty condoms in the wallets of muscle-bound male volleyball players and kayakers and marathon swimmers. There’s no way I’d let my daughter go.


In many instances, the athletes arrive several days before his event, perform (I guess in more ways than one), and then head home. So if he’s there for only eight days, that’s more than six condoms a day.


And what would he do if didn’t use all fifty condoms? Put them on his mantel back home, of course. Then he could proudly show friends and family his bronze metal, his Chinese bathrobe, and his 37 condoms he didn’t get to use because he wasn’t there long enough.


“The Olympics were a wonderful time for me,” he’d say dreamily.


I wouldn’t let my daughter within 100 miles of an Olympic Village. 

5 thoughts on “Are You Sure You Want Your Daughter To Be In The Olympics?”

  1. My father taught me one thing in life about girlies…if they’re old enough to breed, they’re old enough to breed! So I stuck playing hockey instead of having fun with the opposite sex!

    Young girl teens are so different than when I was young, they look older than their age, they dress as Paris Hilton, they like to have fun, and if you are a sugar daddy, watch out, thy’ll do anything!

    So sad to be a young girl to grow up in today’s society with many pedophiles ou there!

  2. (From an article regarding the Salt Lake City Olympics)

    “As stars of the show, athletes gathering here for the winter Olympics want for nothing.

    That includes condoms. They are free for the asking, where athletes live and where they compete.

    In many places, it would not be a big deal. Vital for safe sex, condoms are distributed by cities and school systems all across the country. They have been provided at every Olympics since 1992, including the Summer Games of 2000 in Sydney, where more than 70,000 condoms in a rainbow of colors were distributed to athletes. Some countries exhausted their supply.

    Olympic sponsor, Cardinal Health Inc., of Dublin, Ohio, had donated the 12,000 condoms that will be available free in clinics at the 10 competition sites and the complex where the athletes live. “We’re not distributing them,” she said of the condoms. “They’re available like aspirin, Tylenol and bandages. It’s good public health policy.”

    That’s not what the Olympics should be all about.

  3. I’ve always found the condom thing to be hilarious. They get lonely! What would you do? Come on, let you’re daughter experience international love!

  4. They get lonely? It’s only for a couple of weeks! And even though my daughter has two kids and another on the way, she’s still as pure as the driven snow. At least I’m pretty sure.

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