All You Need Is Love

I love most things. I love the smell of dog shit as it lingers on the fresh morning dew. I love the feeling as the dentist does a root canal and hits nerves he didn’t freeze. I love the smell of the septic truck as it boards the ferry. I love the memories of going for evening walks through fields and valleys and seeing bits of the sky through the clouds of mosquitos and black flies. I love thinking about how much I’d like to see Simon Cowell go swimming and get attacked by several dozen piranhas and a great white..

I love when an animal bites me and I have to get rabies shots, and I love those crazy times when my roof leaks in the middle of the night. I love speeding tickets and when I’m run off the road and when I get fishing hooks caught on different parts of my body. I love when I step on a nail and it sinks deeply into my heel, and I love walking into telephone polls and making my nose bleed.

I love that special feeling when I have to go number two while riding a subway, and I love finding soft foreign objects in my beer. I love getting strep throat and driving in freezing rain and getting speared in the groin.

Maybe it’s only Gary Bettman and hockey lockouts I don’t love.

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