A Day In the Life of Ryan O’Stupid And The Team: It’s Game day in Tampa Bay. Are They Still Hungover?

IT’S 5PM EASTERN TIME on the day of the game in Tampa Bay and I’m wondering if most of the hangovers are gone now from the Pursegate fiasco. I hear that Ryan O’Stupid will dress tonight but Tom Resistingcopoupolos won’t. Is it just me, or in O’Stupid’s mug shot, does he have a bit of a smart-ass smirk on his face? Red Fisher, the man I’m going to take over for someday, says in the Gazette that it’s unbelievable how stupid some players are today.

IT’s 7:05 PM ET, game time, and no sign of any hangovers yet. Of course, it’s hard to tell because they’re only standing there as the anthems are played. Tom Resistingcopoulos is a scratch tonight. I wonder if his new prison tattoo is bothering him.

FIRST PERIOD’S OVER and with a late goal by Tampa, it’s now 2-2. Montreal needs to talk things over in the room, have a few beers, and  maybe have a quick nap. It always worked for me after a big blow out.

There’s a large sign behind the glass that says ‘Hey O”Byrne, You Dropped Your Purse.’

SECOND PERIOD’S OVER and Montreal’s flat as flat can be. They’re just lucky they’re playing Tampa and not Ottawa. It’s still 2-2. Montreal needs to have a few more beers in the room and try to shake the hangovers. You know, hair of the dog and all that.

GAME’S OVER and Montreal loses 3-2.  They basically stunk tonight. I wonder why? In all seriousness, how could they celebrate so heartily in Tampa after getting humiliated in Ottawa like they were. And I’m not joking about the hangovers. How is it possible to prepare properly for Tampa when you’ve been up half the night partying, and surely would be tired all the next day, and possibly even game day.

I’ve got nothing left to say. I’m very disappointed in my team.

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