$75 Buys Some Good Shit

The good people at Pepsi, Gatorade, and Lays, because I mentioned in here about the nice contest to have Mark Messier come to your town with the Stanley Cup  http://dennis-kane.com/mark-messier-could-become-your-new-best-friend/ have given me a $75 gift certificate from NHL.com to pass along to one of you.

So I thought about the best way to do this and I’ve come up with this. I’ll run this post periodically for a little while and from comments I’ll pick what I think is a good one. Or if that’s not fair, I’ll draw one from all the names in my fedora.  All you have to do is finish the sentence, “The Leafs suck so bad ……”

Example – The Leafs suck so bad they’re rated 31 out of 30 teams.

You can see all the good things to buy with your 75 bucks right here at shop NHL.com

21 thoughts on “$75 Buys Some Good Shit”

  1. The leafs suck so bad when you look up the word vacuum in the dictionary you find a leaf team picture.

  2. The Leafs suck so bad they’re just like my artificial Xmas tree. Back in the basement every year by January.

  3. The Leafs suck so bad, they can’t even beat ’em in the bowling alley, let alone on the ice.

  4. The Leafs suck soooo bad that I have come up with several:
    #7.-that they don’t even know the Stanley Cup has a colour.
    #6.-that Hoover contacted them to inquire about their secret.
    #5.-that they tried lately to trade Luca Caputi for Matt Cooke.
    #4-that the Haitian Embassy has cancelled their season tickets.
    #3-that Stamkos will get another mittfull of pts in TO tonight.
    #2-that even Don Cherry’s new book doesn’t mention them.
    and the #1 reason is that even David Letterman doesn’t have time for them…………….

  5. Hope this doesn’t get you in trouble with Pepsi.
    The Leafs suck so bad, they deserve a crappy cheer like Eh, O’Leafs Go.

  6. The Leafs suck so bad, physicists have discovered a black hole forming at their training complex.

    The Leafs suck so bad, the ECHL has offered them admission into their league.

    The Leafs suck so bad, the stick boy has demanded a trade.

  7. The Leafs suck so bad that there’s this pal of mine who was this cute little dog who watches all the Leaf games with him on TV. And one night I saw the little dog in a corner of the room crying his eyes out. So I asked my pal “What’s wrong with your dog?” He says, ‘Oh, never mind about that, he does that every time the Leafs suck.” So then I ask him “What does he do when they play great?’ He says, “I don’t know. He’s only nine years old.”

    And the moral of the story is:

    Too much truculence inevitably leads to suckulence.

  8. DK, I’ll keep this short.
    The Leafs suck,because they are the LEAFS !!!!!
    GO HABS GO !!!

  9. Danno your friend’s dog is very lucky. He’s avoided almost 34 years of Leaf suckiness.

  10. Ex-Leaf Lee Stempniak says the Leafs suck so bad that being traded to play in an empty building in the desert is a career improvement.

  11. The Leafs suck so bad that their training camp is actually the set of the “Biggest Loser”…..ouch!

  12. Dennis the Leafs suck so bad that their fans are actually movie extras at the games paid by the mgmt. and not fans at all.

    The Leafs suck so bad that puck bunnies are now dust bunnies and not interested because bunnies only like hockey players.

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